The following is a not-atypical conversation I had with my 4-year-old son D- the other day on our way to the library:
D-: Why are we going to the liberry?
Me (brushing the turnip leaves off my sleeve): The lie-berry? What's that?? Is it like a blueberry or a strawberry?
D-: No!
Me: Should I go look for a lie-berry bush so I can pick me some lie-berries for a delicious lie-berry pie?
D- (scolding): You know what I mean! The LIE... b... (pause) ...erry.
Me: Mmmm, sounds yummy!
D- (giving me a well-practiced blank look as if I'm a hopeless idiot*): It's not.
* May or may not be accurate.
I do the same kinds of things with The Monkey, and I fear these are things she and her brother will remember when they are picking out a "home" for me in my old age...
ReplyDeleteHahaha.... love the label. "Bad Parenting".
ReplyDeleteThe turnip leaves part was inspired...the rest of the conversation? Well, let's just say a day at your house would be entertaining. :P
ReplyDeleteEnjoy teasing them now. Soon they're able to dish it all back and you'll wonder why you ever started it in the first place.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read that last line in my head it came out as, "it's snot" which somehow made the whole exchange make more sense.
ReplyDeleteJust wait until he does that to his own kids. Then it will really be funny.
ReplyDeleteJust wait until he does that to his own kids. Then it will really be funny.
ReplyDeleteLie Berry ... used to be the mayor of Washington, DC, right? Or is that Halle's ex-husband?
ReplyDeleteHeeheehee...he's not amused by you, eh? Join the club! Before long, he will just be shaking his head and rolling his eyes at you--the time is coming my friend.
ReplyDeleteMy husband will tease the children in this manner until they are frustrated to the point of violence or tears - is this part of "making a man" out of them or something? Good heavens, it's cute for a second, then leave the poor kid alone. Oh, right, so the kid is driven crazy, then an accidentally well placed hit to the groin and it's time out while daddy "composes" himself.
ReplyDeleteBad parenting indeed...
(great post, though)
When you get old he'll put you in a home just to get revenge. Or make you a sandwich.
ReplyDeleteWhat a dick. I love it.
ReplyDeleteIs that like a crackberry for kids? You sound like my hubs... the grammar police. :D
ReplyDeleteWhat's that saying, be kind to your kids, they pick your nursing home? That being said, my brother is 26 years old and still says Liberry. So maybe you will be able to save your son the humiliation of never being able to say it right.
ReplyDeleteI love kid-speak. When mine say their wonky words, and I correct them - they say "that's how I call it" .
ReplyDeleteI say - good thing it's not a dog, because it won't when you call by the wrong name!
I love your son's deadpan response.
ReplyDeleteAt least, I imagine it as deadpan in my brain.
Out of the mouth of babes!
ReplyDeleteLoved the post. But Renee's comment was even better.
ReplyDeleteHe all but called you and asshole. That's great.
ReplyDeleteWhat is NOT yummy about the lieberry? The smell alone is a total turn on!
ReplyDeleteI'm filing these posts so when I have kids I can torture them properly. I mean, just as paybacks for the whole labor thing. What's your excuse? :)
ReplyDeleteNot bad parenting. Hilarious parenting.
ReplyDeleteSo how many of your stories involving him can you just copy paste the last line for? I bet he gets a lot of use out of that look and line combo! The trick is to tease them for awhile and then do something really cool later to make up for it before they choose your home...
ReplyDeleteMy husband likes to aggravate our kids like that, too. When my 4 year old announced in the car that her sister needed to follow the "erections" (instead of "directions"), it left my husband speechless for once. I was cracking up!
ReplyDeleteMy nine and ten-year-olds still use "liberry"--dives me crazy! And I'm not even a librarian....no wait...a media specialist....???
ReplyDelete