Here is Episode 8 in the beloved series of quotes from around our house:
D- (while tying his robe belt around the door knob and chain lock, after I said "Stop"): Stop what?
M-: I'm mess-see!
D- (also the Voice Of My Stomach at most meals): I want some more of that taste, please.
M- (reaching into D-'s pants pocket): I'm takin' money!
J- (to me, after I suggested we go get some very delicious pancakes): Dude... don't tease a fat woman* with pancakes!
D- (looking at a globe): Are any of these states bad?
* Alert: Exaggeration for the sake of self-deprecation.
Not bad, honey, but the red ones are a little misguided...
ReplyDeleteThe one about tying the robe belt to the doorknob is the identical conversation we have in our house.
ReplyDeleteAll of these can and should be followed up with "that's what she said."
ReplyDeleteI wish I could reach into someone's pockets and say "I takin' money!" It never works!
ReplyDeleteBecause, you know, tying yourself to the door knob and chain is a totally normal and valid thing to do.
ReplyDeleteLol! The third one reminds me of my 4 year old wiping his tongue off saying "I'm trying to get the hot out." (This was after he had some extra spicy A-1 sauce)
ReplyDeleteYes, D-, some states are bad. Well, boring. Depends if it's an election year. And I hope "I'm mess-see" relates to food.
ReplyDeleteI hear "I want some more of that taste, please" in Cleveland's voice from Family guy. Lovin' it.
ReplyDeleteUmmm...yes, yes some states are bad. But I'm not saying which ones.
ReplyDeleteYou need to tell him--they're all bad.
ReplyDeleteMiddle Aged Woman, Mary, Mama Dawg, and People in the Sun: He tempts me with his completely open mind and eagerness to be manipulated. Or shall I say, wielded as my weapon against the future.
ReplyDeleteFlorida Girl in Sydney and Jenni: Maybe if all kids tie their robe belts to a doorknob, a giant web of wormholes will open up across our world, ushering in an era of world piece.
Or, more likely, they will just irritate their parents by ruining their robes and f'ing up the door and chain when they're trying to open it.
Jenboglass: You're my kinda woman. Now please click over to (reader) Allison Ross' blog for her post on the next generation: "Like my johnson". You won't be sorry.
Seriously Mama: Try doing it without the announcement. Once you've succeeded, you can always shout it as you run away.
ali: Sadly, you can never get the hot off. Just like you can't stop the music.
CaraBee: I just entered a whole new world of appreciation for the line. I hope the spinoff show they're making for that character doesn't kill the humor after two episodes.
My 8 year old daughter has a penchant for tying things like belts and scarves to things, and it drives me nuts! I love it though--"stop what?"
ReplyDeleteAnd make sure you point out that even in the bad states (like Ohio, where I live) there are some good people that just happen to be trapped in another dimension.
The'voice from your stomach' and 'D' sound vaguely like my husband most mornings!
ReplyDeleteI tried the "I'm takin' money!" line on my wife with her purse.
ReplyDeleteThe wound still bleeds a little.
Only a little...
-Chris
Weather Moose
I love blue; that's all Iam saying.
ReplyDeleteYou did explain that some of those states are bad, right?
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for the day that I can do a quotes post. As of right now, it'd look like this:
ReplyDeleteMe: Hi Tyler
Tyler: slkaieyrhadhe
Me: Daddy loves you, Tyler
Tyler: ahhahdhdheh
Me: Do you love your Daddy?
Tyler: *FART*
All my kids do that tying stuff to other stuff thing- makes me crazy! At any given time, there are beanie babies hanging from the top bunk on bathrobe belt nooses and scarves, knotted to shoelaces, tied to hair bows in attempt to fashion what I can only assume is a ladder to sneak out their bedroom window!
ReplyDeleteOh My. Your post and all of the comments have me ROFL! well done!
ReplyDeleteJust don't mention "Texas" when you list the "bad states". haven't you heard the old slogan-"Don't mess with Texas"?
And as for the pancakes? I say go for it. If you eat them standing up it doesn't count. Or so I believe.
Those were some of the best pancakes too!
ReplyDeleteApparently kids all over the country are in training to get their knot-tying merit badges. Joe, I'd keep your eye on that baby, in case he starts focusing more on knot-tying than walking and talking. Once he got you guys hog-tied, the balance of power in the house would definitely change.
ReplyDeleteAnd Andrea, Texas is too big a state to be considered one cohesive unit, just like California. You're from the good part.
And as for J-, who let the riffraff in here?? Though I can't argue, they are delicious pancakes... more Cake than Pan.
oooh, I hear the "Stop what?" one quite often.
ReplyDeleteWell, in all fairness, I wasn't specific, right?
ReplyDelete