13 January 2010

Things that amuse me, Vol. 2

Here, in lieu of something more cohesive, are a few of the things that have been amusing me lately:

1. Already a budding patriot at 2, the other day my daughter M- called out, "Look at my sandal!" only to reveal that, for no apparent reason, she'd ripped the flag off one of those 4th of July souvenirs and tied it around her little foot with a piece of string.

2. One recent message in the waves of spam e-mails I get daily stood out from the cesspool of similarly themed junk. It was called, "Your pork pistol won't fail" ...Great, thanks for ruining pork chops for me, for all time. Even schnitzel can't hide such a visual.

3. When perusing Endless.com to see if I could save money by ordering my next pair of sneakers online instead of having to (shudder) go to a store,* I feel like I was victimized by discriminatory software. After putting in the general specs of what I was looking for, the top row of search results were all women's pink ballet slippers. I say, stay out of this, Internet! That diaper bag is just damn handy, okay. That's the limit of my gender bending, I swear.**

4. After only a couple days of having wireless Internet here in the new house, I could already tell I'm going to need to put some kind of wheeled computer desk in the bathroom.



* No such luck, the universe hates me. I should have realized this by the fact that even New Balance has forsaken me and the sanctity/dryness of the side of my right foot, where the sole of my shoe very subtly detached a mere two months after I started wearing my latest shoes.

** But then, the Internet has never steered me wrong before...

9 comments:

Clark Kent's Lunchbox said...

"Pork pistol?" That's some rootin' tootin' classy copywriting.

I'd get shot down using that terminology around the little woman.

Vodka Logic said...

Laptops work well in the bathrooms lol

Middle Aged Woman said...

(Yay! a post from LiteralDan!) C'mon! Little M- would love it if the two of you pranced around in ballet slippers!

Always Home and Uncool said...

Never blog in the bathroom. Let's leave it at that.

Mary said...

M is a very 60s child, wrapping herself in the flag as clothing.

LiteralDan said...

Allow me to clarify-- I use my laptop pretty much exclusively, but who wants to hold it the whole time you're playing Lexulous on Facebook, and such?

Dawn said...

Wheeled computer desk in the bathroom...it is ALL about convenience for you men, isn't it? LOL

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