11 December 2008

Dalai Lama to wreak havoc, world is warned

Urgent Notice from the Chinese Government:
The People's Republic of China humbly wishes to make the world aware of a potentially serious though unpredictable epidemic of mayhem threatening to sweep all nations of the Earth:

The so-called Dalai Lama, seen here yanking an opponent's beard to move his face into optimal head-butting range (his devastating finishing move of choice), has secretly been training the most deadly non-violent army the world has ever seen, according to reliable sources inside the Chinese government.

Anyone encountering this disarming renegade, who should be thought of as not unlike an Evil Batman, is encouraged to quickly shave his beard, if any, strike a defensive judo crouch, and prepare to absorb a vicious full-body assault.

Do not be dissuaded by any devious entreaties of peace, friendship, or primal enlightenment. Respond to any moment of weakness with a judicious blend of blows to the face, neck, and torso.

Capture of this sinister vigilante will be met with a reward up to and including the eternal gratitude of the P.R.C. government and the future true Dalai Lama. In lieu of gratitude, reward may be payable in U.S. dollars, toilet paper, or forgiveness of debts already held.

END TRANSMISSION

18 comments:

Vodka Mom said...

I never trusted that bastard.

Vodka Mom said...

hee hee

Aliceson said...

How could we have been fooled all of these years. Can't trust the peacemakers anymore either.

Great Post!

Midwest Mom said...

A) You post way to early, dude.

B) I *love* that you put US dollars and TP on equal footing.

Thanks for my a.m. dose of funny.

-MM

TerriRainer said...

I was shaking my head and smiling when I read your post...then I read Vodka Mom's comment and thank God I hadn't taken a drink...I would have spewed everywhere!

How can you join this evil militia? And do you have to shave your head to join? I always wanted to be an evil minion...maybe my husband won't bitch so much when I spend money if I have the power of the Dalai backin me!

:) Terri

Threeboys1mommy said...

I've heard he roams around with a couple of vicious bamboo eating pandas on leashes! True story.

beth said...

Interesting that all three payments are currently being "wiped out".

cIII said...

So, at what point do I start with the Obigatory "Caddy Shack" reference?

"gunga la gunga."

That should do it.

Weith Kick said...

What the hell is he doing? That crazy Lama! Always getting mixed up in crazy shenanigans. Someone should make a 1/2 hour sitcom about the Dali Lama.

Goldfish said...

I think this is too little, too late. If you had really wanted to save the world from this evil force, you should have made an offer on the Senate seat so you could operate from a position of power.... But since that avenue's been temporarily blocked, now what? {sigh}

Christy said...

Yeah, I always knew that guys was a bad apple...all that peace, love, and kindeness! Trouble I tell you--I hope they throw the book at him!

Rikki said...

Look at him! He is like a wall of solid muscle!

Down with the Lama! ;)

Rikki said...

Look at him! He is like a wall of solid muscle!

Down with the Lama! ;)

Rikki said...

What the freak? I have no idea why it just posted twice.

"I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

Name that movie...

Mama Dawg said...

Oh, sweet baby Jesus. I can't believe the Dali Abubu has been yanking out collective beards all this time.

Shame on him.

Momo Fali said...

I'm interested in that forgiveness of debts thing.

sweetcheese said...

Thanks for the warning!!! I will now run out and buy some duct tape and plastic sheeting to seal my house from his dangerous proclamations of peace. (He sure is one buff religious leader.)

Joe said...

"FINISH HIM!"

Religiousality!