Five senses times two: A case study

For all those people seeking to explore additional human senses by unlocking unused portions of the brain, there are others who seek to start by using our five known senses to their full ability before moving on to new ones. To most people who have not thought about such a thing, this approach just makes sense.

Certainly the youngest and most talented, if not the only, proponent of this effort is the young Dr. M. Q. Literal (pronounced for the purposes of this profile as "Lit-AIR-uhl").
Dr. Literal not only desires to maximize the potential of her own brain, but in a confluence of her passions for research and magnanimity, she also strives to share her gifts with those around her. To illustrate her generosity of spirit, one needs only look within the past week.

Upon waking from her scheduled afternoon nap ready for her 4-hour pre-dinner constitutional, she found her calls to her live-in assistants falling on deaf ears, due to such obstacles as ambient noise (in the form of rambunctious preschoolers, running fans, and air conditioners), closed doors, and general apathy. Tempted though she was, rather than give up and collapse in frustration for an invigorating tantrum for more than a few moments, she decided instead to appeal to other senses and encourage her inferiors to think, and feel, outside their quaint little boxes.

After entering a meditative state and summoning all her digestive energy to focus it in the way only she knows how, Dr. Literal managed to soil herself on command to such an alarming degree that she was able to summon both now-barely-conscious senior assistants to her side in a matter of minutes using only the force of extraordinarily long stink lines. Few self-described psychics could claim such power.

Meanwhile, the notably disheveled appearance of her office and lab attire served as all the lecture the humbled assistants needed-- from now on, they will surely be keeping their ears and noses open for whenever their master might call.

Whether she's splitting ear drums for little or no reason, silently threatening to repurpose precious objects, licking passersby when they least expect it, sticking items at hand in absent guest's drinks, or simply defecating outside of socially acceptable locations, the good doctor stands alone, until others are brave enough join her, in her struggle to push humanity into the next phase of evolution.