08 July 2008

Just a little sleight of heel

I have reason to believe my daughter is a computer prodigy at the tender age of 1.

As this blog and my job history (as well as, among others, my wife, my family, casual acquaintances, and anyone sitting in my house throughout a typical day who's capable of understanding how a clock works) can attest, I've put in the time to become much more than familiar with the ways of a computer.

I live for shortcuts and for new ways to make my life easier and therefore less meaningful. I have spreadsheets of useful Alt codes and other keyboard/mouse combinations that can work miracles and wow the uninitiated, but I generally don't need them, because my inexplicable feeling of need leaves my brain wide open and receptive to these new tidbits and tricks, which are immediately written to permanent file storage.

That being said, my daughter has the ability to, while I am staring right at her, press buttons and make things happen on my computer that I didn't even know could happen, much less how to bring them about via shortcut. She conjures new effects, windows, and even programs right out of thin air without me being able to tell how she did it.

If this sounds like an exaggeration, know that even if you doubt my claim that I have never, ever exaggerated at all in my entire life, I am absolutely telling nothing but the straight truth right now.

And, just so you know, I'm not talking about old-school peanuts like holding down SHIFT for 8 seconds until FilterKeys comes on, I'm talking about stuff like this:
Mouse gestures?? New to me. Thanks, baby foot!
Now, users of the Opera browser might be familiar with this option, but I'm a relative newbie to it, and I'm only mostly sure that this dialog box came from that program. She summoned it, or possibly called it into existence entirely, this morning when climbing up on my lap for comfort while dealing with her fever, using only her heel! Her heel!!

Oh, how she mocks my confused desire to play apprentice to her wizened master.

18 comments:

Swirl Girl said...

Prenatal vitamins or computer chip imbedding devices....you decide.

They all come prewired these days.

Always Home and Uncool said...

Hmm ... hope it wasn't an obscene mouse gesture by your little one.

Natalie said...

mouse gestures...sounds kinda creepy. i wonder what a mouse would gesture give the opportunity...hm....

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

As long as she doesn't conjure up a figment like Calamari, you're safe!

Mama Dawg said...

Wow...I'm impressed. Can she come over and teach my mom how to program her DVD player? Cause she won't listen to me.

TerriRainer said...

Mouse gesture? WTF is that??? See, this is why I feel OLD and out of date.

Okay, maybe not SO bad, I asked my savvy 14 year old, and she didn't know either, whew!

Your daughter is a true GENIUS!!!

:) Terri

Ms Picket To You said...

My kids know only how to spill shit on the keyboard.

I seriously need to get those dudes a tutor.

Dad of Divas said...

What a smart kid... I would be careful though she might start guest posting some of the lurid details to your family life...

Jennifer said...

She has more computer talent in her heel than in my whole person!

Lula! said...

She is indeed a genius.

QUICK--capture her brilliance on video, mail it off to Tom Bergeron, win the $100,000 prize and celebrate in Hawaii. For a month. With a nanny in tow.

This is how my minds works.

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

She is a genius! Loved this post.

Jen said...

Amazing! Just think what she'll be doing at 2!

Mommy Melee said...

Do they have a shortcut for Turning On SuperWhy When Mommy Is Trying to Copyedit?

Cause S is gonna be all over that one.

Momo Fali said...

Watch out Bill Gates! There's a new kid in town!

Laggin said...

Yes, Diva Dad, brill-effin-ant!! A guest post. We demand it.

LiteralDan said...

Ummm... I'd comment back to everyone individually, but M- seems to have locked me out of my computer. Forget guest posting-- she may be taking over the blog as we speak.

As soon as I can jimmy open a window, I'll see if I can't get rid of all the puppy pictures, cancel all the stuffed animal orders, and clear out the old-diaper smell.

If only I could download diaperchange.exe, her skills just might come in handy.

SherE1 said...

What, pray tell, is a mouse gesture and how do I get MY computer to do it??

And can M please guest post on my blog while I try to read the 400+ posts I'm behind? I just can't seem to hit that "mark all as read" button.

LiteralDan said...

I don't know anything about it beyond what that window says. I know when to stay ignorant, out of deference to the wizards who product such magic.

She's not available at the moment-- she's busy chewing on things she found in the garbage.