08 May 2008

Teach a man to fish...

As I sit here typing a blog post while D- happily vacuums, I'm starting to think that Cinderella's stepmother was onto something. Cindy just had a bad attitude-- she wasn't a team player. Let's all do our best to investigate and rewrite that history for the stepmother's sake-- just because Cinderella got to become queen doesn't mean we should all have only one side of the story.

I mean, what became of all those loyal talking animals of hers? I doubt she would let them cramp her style once she had some human friends (and slaves). I'm sure there's some horrible dirt to be dug here, worth at least one Lifetime Original Movie and a big fat check.

Anyway, welcome back from Tangent Land...

Now that D-'s got vacuuming down, I just need to teach M- better broom-handling skills, and then we can all move on to mopping, scrubbing, and dusting.

It's the least they can do after waking me up (in tag-team fashion) this morning at 5:45 (hence this scattershot, sub-par post). On the bright side, I got to say goodbye to J-, I suppose. Still, I have a headache in my temples that is certainly not being assuaged by the sound of a plastic hammer banging a scrap of wood-- D- has finished vacuuming and moved on to simple home repairs.

Hmmmm... maybe I could stop handing him "pretend nails" on demand for him to "make magic with this wood" and instead hand him my drill, level, real nails, and all these pictures I'm supposed to hang. On second thought, I don't want them all hung 4 feet off the floor, giving him a step stool wouldn't be safe, and if I felt like helping him, I'd probably be doing it myself in the first place.

I'm a bad, bad, lazy person. But whaddya gonna do?

10 comments:

Cassey said...

You leave me such great comments but, when I comment I can't think of anything witty or funny to say.

Take it as a compliment, you said it so perfectly there was nothing left to say.

Funny as always.

adamrobertson said...

Dearest Daniel,

I think the most pathetic thing about your blog is the comments people leave.

And what's even more pathetic is the length you go to get comments so you can convince people (mostly your wife) that your blog is entertaining people and might become something more than a complete waste of time that keeps you busily-unemployed.

And what's even more pathetic than that are the people that actually leave comments on your blog only to attract people to their blog. It's like a constant pat-on-the-back for a worthlessly, unentertaining job well done for a bunch of unemployed morons.

Congratulations!

Your Friend,
Adam

Mama Dawg said...

I like how in this comment

"On second thought, I don't want them all hung 4 feet off the floor, giving him a step stool wouldn't be safe, and if I felt like helping him, I'd probably be doing it myself in the first place."

you make no mention of him having a drill and real nails. Just being on a step stool! LOL!

Emily

SherE1 said...

OBVIOUSLY, you haven't watched Cinderella II and Cinderella III (which I have had to do about a cajillion times to date. Cajillion and one tonight, I'm sure.) You should really check them out - part 3 even delves into what would have happened HAD THE SHOE NOT FIT! Uh huh. You're welcome.

And can I just say "WOW" - with friends like adamrobertson, who needs enemies? And don't forget to check out my blog! (haha-JK!)

TerriRainer said...

I must say that Cinderella has always been my FAVORITE game to play with the girls!

I am such a GREAT evil step-mother...making poor Cinderella 1 & 2 clean their room!

Mwaaahaaaahaaaa!

:) Terri

Christina said...

My daughter told me I was Cinderella the other day. I thought about all the chores I do around here constantly, every day, with minimal help from her and her brother and realized that she may be on to something...

LiteralDan said...

Cassey: I feel the same way when I leave a comment on other people's blogs, so I'm glad you like mine, and of course I'm glad you like the post-- I had been drawing a blank for a little while there.

Adam: I see you've decided to grace us with your presence once again. I'm going to leave this up here so you can continue to get some enjoyment from it.

Everyone else: Adam's upset I didn't use the nickname he gave me to make a blog more sarcastic in tone, and more like the conversations we have in which we try to one-up each other by horrendously (and often baselessly) mocking ourselves and sometimes innocent bystanders. Sorry to you all for his dragging you into the crossfire. I won't say any more because you know what they say about getting down in the mud with pigs.

Mama Dawg: Oh drill, schmill-- rickety step stools are what the letters to Congress need to be written about!

SherE1: You're right, I (thankfully, I think) haven't watched the Cinderella sequels, but I had heard of the alternate universe aspect of the newest one. It's intriguing, but a dangerous road for them to open up for people like George Lucas. Who knows how many versions of Star Wars we'll get?!

As for Adam, many people in this life have said the very same thing-- you can join our support group! What he meant to say, I think, was "Please check out my blog, beaverbrookroad.blogspot.com, which goes along with the beaverbrookroad.net site." Some really nice wildlife photography, belying the irritating front he puts up for his own entertainment.

TerriRainer: I envy you, and furthermore I bow to you-- you must teach me your tricks for when my kids get older.

Christina: Your husband probably won't believe you didn't put her up to that lol

Andrea said...

Have you read "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister"? Twist on the Cindy story. Read it while your kids are "repairing your house" :). That's when I do my best reading.

Bilary said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog. How do you know Andrea? Funny how you can make friends in Blogland...She commented on my blog once, so I visited her blog, and I ADORE her! She is wonderful! So anyone who knows her must be equally awesome!

So, to my point...I saw your comment and checked out your blog and I love it! You really could be a writer. Very entertaining to read! It is fun to see a man's take on being home with the kids. My husband should read all of this! He would love it!

I'll be back!

LiteralDan said...

Andrea: Based on my son's interest, and my daughter's likely future interest, in the Cinderella story, I'm sure I'll be reading all there is to read on it-- I'll keep an eye out for that one.

I always look forward to nap time as a good time to read and to regain my sanity just enough to make it to bedtime

Bilary: I discovered Andrea's blog via Christina's/MamaNeena's blog, I believe, and I agree she writes well. I'll be back to both of your blogs-- glad you like mine!