21 May 2008

Umm... see my list of bad habits*

I'm writing this post as a confessional-- I don't have my homework.

Yes, instead of writing another one of my (self-issued) award-winning posts today, I have blown all my "free time" this morning reading blogs. Any chance you'd accept me tracking down a bunch of the comments I left and just cobbling them together into a list post? Nah, probably not.

So, in addition to a confessional, this is also an apology. That is, unless I commented on your blog this morning, in which case you should feel honored by my selfless exaltation of you and your work over my own. Also, you should feel exceedingly guilty for your undeserved moment of apology-accepting, but you can make it up to me by, shall we say, exploring some of the tempting offers placed around the page or by shopping at Amazon via my link to the right.

Based on the number of people (at other nominated blogs) who misread my noncommittal offer of a magical tote bag for one's eternal soul instead as a legal promise of a regular tote bag for voting for me in a mere blog contest, I just might need all the cash I can get.

Even though that wouldn't personally cost you anything, as a show of gratitude, I still might be able to repay you with a free extra soul.** They're great to play with when you're having a rough day, like a stress ball.


* Here's a link to my list of bad habits (among other things)-- most of them are applicable today.

** Hey, if someone is willing to trade their eternal soul for a tote bag just to make a point, I am certainly going to fulfill my end while also capitalizing my new asset. See
Milhouse v. Simpson for legal precedent.

9 comments:

Christy said...

Okay, number one, honored I am (as always by your comments.)Thank you. Number two, are there really people out there who thought you were going to send them an ACTUAL tote bag (as opposed to hypothetical one)? Even I knew it was a joke...and I am ALWAYS the last one to get it.
Funny.

Rikki said...

Shoot. No tote. Why am I the big nerd that voted for you twice a day (yes, I need to get a life) for the past week? ;)

If you ALL have a second, please check out my friends blog. He just had his second child (a son) and I know comments about how cute his newborn is, would give him the warm fuzzies (sorry to hijack the comments, I won't do it again).

http://mylifewithdogs-swanny.blogspot.com/

LiteralDan said...

Was that a tumbleweed I just saw rolling through here? lol Perhaps I laid on my trademark dry humor a bit thick-- that's what J- thought of this post, anyway (that is to say, not much).

Yep, I've found several people just in the dozen or so blogs I've checked out who are saying "Oh my god, someone's offering people tote bags to vote for them..." (etc.)

I've always felt that if you have to explain a joke, it's not a good one, which would make it my fault. Actually, though, I think this is mostly a "telephone" effect mixed with people just skimming through stuff without really reading. It's not a big deal, but I feel ridiculous having to say something so people don't have the wrong idea.

This was a pretty lame post on my part, but I plan to be back tomorrow with something more fun. Stay tuned!

TerriRainer said...

LOL...I hope I didn't mention that darn tote promise on my post about the contest (FYI, I read and comment on other's blogs waaaay more than I post on my own)!

I have the same problem, no one around me can tell when I am kidding. People with a dry sense of humor usually get others with the same affliction!

(Up to 30%...I am so OCD about some things, so I have to vote... figure it's payback for the laughs I get here!)

GO ONE-EYED DAN!!!

:) Terri

LiteralDan said...

Rikki: Wow, what timing, I clicked Post Comment and then there you were with a new one!

I certainly wouldn't want to stop you from voting-- you're keeping me ahead with an ever-narrowing lead over some other very good blogs (I've checked them all out) that have been gaining on me quickly. I won't say I've never won anything before, but I haven't won much, so this would definitely be fun.

Don't feel bad about posting a link in the comments-- I'll go check out your friend's blog now, in fact.

LiteralDan said...

TerriRainer: Man, again! This comment thread is going to look weird now.

I wonder who's going to post a comment when I click Post on this one? lol

Yeah, I do have a problem with my style of humor-- I have to be careful putting jokes in print that work better when spoken.

I can certainly appreciate your compulsions, especially in this case. Thanks to everyone who's keeping me in there! And you're welcome for any amusement you may have inadvertently contracted here.

Christy said...

Dan & Terri--
I think I'm part of your club...(some) people often don't know if I'm kidding or serious, and I don't usually get "regular" jokes. And you're right--if you have to explain it, it takes the funny away.

family affairs said...

How is your shameless self-promotion going? Mine is not going well. If you get a moment check out my post today about attempting to appeal to a more American market - or do you think I look desperate and should aim for a more "British" voice. I voted for you again - you might not be serious about the Tote bag, but I am very serious about giving my children away as prizes....Lx

LiteralDan said...

Christy: You can be a part of our club. First order of business-- dues are $50 a month. I've put you down as a member retroactive to January 2007. I'll expect a check presently.

family affairs: Cheerio! My self-promotion seems to be going well-- I burst out of the gate and it's been snowballing all by itself.

I left you a comment effectively urging you to stick to your guns, or whatever British people call guns, and just amuse us all with your uber-Britishness.

Okay, I'll take a child-- why not? I've voted for you enough to be owed plenty of slave labor!

Actually, that's not an accurate characterization-- I would make your kids follow me around everywhere dressed like stereotypical British schoolchildren circa 1938, to amuse me by saying everything politely and in that way that, well, British children talk. It's so great!

My children, meanwhile, would serve as the slaves, having been replaced by cuter, more novel versions of themselves for public consumption.