29 August 2008

A conversation with D-: One hand clapping

Here's another little conversation with my four-year-old son D-, which took place the other day while we were walking home from the library after he held up his hand for me to hold.

Me: Oooh, that's a nice hand. Can I keep it?

D- (slightly confused, but characteristically unfazed): No.

Me: Why?! Do you need it for something?

D- (half shrugs while thinking of a response): No...

Me: Then why can't I have it?

D-: ...Cause... you don't have, like a knife or something... to cut it off, so it'll just stay stuck on me there, so...*

Me (frowning a little): Hmmm, you're right... oh, well.

For the record, I'd like to register my absolute bafflement as to where he might have picked up such dry, pragmatic attention to detail.


* Don't think for a second I didn't notice he said "like". Shudder.

14 comments:

MadWoman said...

So, like, did you ask him about where you might go about finding another hand?

Four year olds are cute eh?

Middle Aged Woman said...

Wrong turn, Dad!

You: Well, there are plenty of sharp implements at home. What say we take care of it there? Let's see you wiggle your way out of that one, pedantic boy!

Captain Dumbass said...

My three year old already understands that cannibalism is wrong. "People. Don't. Eat. People. Daddy!" Oh, but how about just one of those little toes? Those perfect little pink toes...

Mama Dawg said...

Yeah, I have to agree with MAW on this one. You should have totally (worse than like) played up the whole "we have sharp implements at home, you know" angle.

Much more funny....for you...and us.

J.Danger said...

of course! Duh Dan, you should have thought of that.

My oldest says like all the time, it makes me cringe too. Whenever I correct him I get "you're such a nerd mom" and "like, whatever". It just gets worse.

Mrs4444 said...

That's awesome. I love that you asked that; it's a tiny snapshot of the kind of dad you are...funny, playful, and sweet.

MamaNeena said...

Oh, will you have your hands full with that kid in just a few short years.

I'll be laughing my butt off the whole time...

Lola said...

Oh, I would have pressed him on that one, too. If he came up with that response, just imagine what you would get if you started talking about butcher knives, saws, axes and crazy glue.

If you can't stand "like," wait until he starts with the "seriously" or "Dude" every time anyone says anything to him. Fingernails on the chalkboard!

Renee said...

"characteristically unfazed"

Yeah, that's my kid too. I think when you grow up with parents who call you turkey turd (endearingly) and randomly turn you upside down in the middle of a discussion, there are very little surprises in your world.

I can only guess that your guy has had the same kind of upbringing.

Lucky little cusses.

paisley penguin said...

D is too precious!

Mama's Losin' It said...

I have a knife you can borrow...

LiteralDan said...

I like that everyone is as sadistic as me, and enjoys taunting small children with threats of physical violence. It warms my heart way more than it should.

Now that's all I'll think of when I hold his little hand for this last stretch before he's too cool for it. (sniffle)

I'm, like, totally having a moment here. Where's my knife sharpener? I have a kid to unnerve.

Tee said...

I LOVED this conversation! Don't worry about the 'like'. I busted my almost 7 year old calling his Nint.endo D.S. a 'f*cking idiot' today, nice!

LiteralDan said...

"Like" is a well-known Gateway Word. If you don't know about your son saying it, then rest assured he was sneaking it in behind your back for years before he arrived at the hilarious awesomeness you know today.

"F*cking idiot"... that's classic. Has he seen Napolean Dynamite?