22 August 2008

Developments at our house, Vol. 10

Here is the 10th nearly-monthly set of Developments at our house:

1. Due to the recent removal of a bothersome mole, I can no longer in good conscience equate my intimate knowledge of something to that of the back of my hand. At least, not for a couple of years, 'cause I mean, what the hell is going on over there? Up is down, down is up... I could swear I used to have more knuckles. I feel absolutely adrift whenever I look over towards that hand, like someone else must be reaching around from behind me, or something. And I can't help but thinking their hideous hand would be almost tolerable to look at with the addition of some kind of beauty mark.

2. My 4-year-old son D- has made official his creation of a new word --poinking-- by using it in conversation for the 500th time. I was more than a little disappointed when balloons didn't fall from the ceiling. I'd peg his definition of the word, based on context, as something like, "To poke with extreme prejudice."

3. I have made a bold new resolution to begin to really decide what specifically I will start improving about things around here.

4. I've found that a 4-year-old inexplicably whispering in your ear the very detailed and suddenly secret story of how he went to the bathroom, and then washed his hands all by himself, comes off much like an obscene phone call appealing to an impossibly small niche audience. Hence it is an extremely disturbing experience.

5. As an update on one of my previous resolutions, I am making great progress towards not dividing everything possible in my life into multiples of five.

21 comments:

Middle Aged Woman said...

1. You could know something like the back of your other hand...just sayin'.
2. Sounds reasonable.
3. Fixin' to get ready?
4. Cause for celebration at our house, and my kid's 16.
6. heh, heh.

The Microblogologist said...

Oh good, I'm not the only one with the obsession with multiples of five!

D- almost beats Niecey's trying to convince me to let her join me in the shower with the line, "It's fun to shower with kids, try it." Now THAT is disturbing! And of course she has no idea how creepy that line sounds and I hope it stays that way for a long while!!!!!

Miss Grace said...

I prefer to do things in fours.

small town city girl said...

Poinking? I love it! My guess is it's directed at his sister. :)

Kori said...

Good luck with #3; let me know how it works out for you. And mine are threes-not fives, not fours, but threes. I am working on that.

just beth said...

dude! I do the five thing, too!!!!! yay crazy!

xo

b.

Allison said...

It might get worse. He might start whispering in your ear about poinking Shiloh.

Middle Aged Woman said...

One...two...five!
Three, sir!
Three!

TerriRainer said...

#4 is FUNNY! My youngest whispers really WEIRD and random stuff in my ear too. It's creepy.

:) Terri

Mrs. B. Roth said...

hey, you're not even there and you posted, that is wicked weird. i love technology. 10 years ago people NEVER auto-posted on their blog when they were on vacation. 1998 ... before kids, before Bush, before good job and bad economy ... i think i need a pregnancy test, I am waxing far too sentimental today. Check my blog for results ;)

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

I love lists! You're a man after my own heart. Although, I think you need a number 6 in order to REALLY make some progress.

Christy said...

So, did he actually touch your ear with those hands? That's what I would like to know.

Natalie said...

poinking...good word. my 12 year old son coined the word "mooley" when he was 4. "will, do you have to go to the bathroom?" "no, i'm just mooley." um...ok. since then we've likened it to needing to poop, but not really being able to just yet...but not quite constipated. we often use it when it looks like someone needs to go to the bathroom. "anna grace looks mooley."

i love those words!

Always Home and Uncool said...

Everyone needs a good poink now and then.

Meg said...

Your son is creative and obviously a future blogger!!

Fun post ;)

PAPATV said...

The blogosphere is alive with new words today. I just learned "Janky" as in "That was a janky movie/book/roast beef sandiwch."
janky = not good
or so i guess...

Lola said...

I've been poinking my husband for years while he snores the night away!

Immoral Matriarch said...

#4. made me laugh like an insane person and then feel incredibly filthy for doing so. So I can only imagine what you felt. LOL

TerriRainer said...

You have an award on my blog!

:) Terri

MP! said...

Just make sure a) to train him not to embarrass himself when he goes to out, by explaining his bathroom habits to someone he feels randomly comfortable with and b) to avoid him going from saying "poinking" to "boinking".

Kind of reminds me of different instances of me being a very, very embarrassed 4-6 year old. Not the bathroom one so much (although, there were things I learned to say and not say to the general public a little too late), but the distorting words naively.

LiteralDan said...

Christy: He washes his hands, thankfully, though our next project is to get him to use less than 4 ounces of liquid hand soap when doing it himself.

PAPATV, never heard of "janky", but Natalie, I think I like the word "mooley", but I'm not sure why.

MP!: Rest assured, your behavior sounds entirely typical, though still amusing-- do share some hilarious details some time!