14 August 2008

From appetizers to entrees

Just in case anyone is ever so rude as to tell you to eat/suck/chew a wee-wee, or better yet, whenever you need to tell someone to do so, thanks to me and the Chicago Tribune, you'll know where you or they need to go to do so:

Kevin Pang Visits a Beijing Penis Restaurant

Am I the only one who thinks Penis Restaurant would be a great name for a band? Or a celebrity baby?

27 comments:

Rikki said...

Penis Restaurant a baby name? Hmmm...I think Crotch Cafe has a better ring to it.

MamaNeena said...

Isn't Gwen Stefani due to have another spawn? I think you should send her your name suggestion.

Mama Dawg said...

If Jason Lee can name his kid "Pilot Inspektor" then Brit-Brit should be able to name her next spawn....Penis Restaurant.

threeboys1mommy said...

Did someone call my name?

Seriously Mama said...

I was asked to "blow on my big sausage, Mommy" yesterday during breakfast. Mabye a Penis Restaurant could be our ticket to millions?

Swirl Girl said...

located right next door to the lovely vagina diner.

Chris said...

Both next to a Kwik-E Mart.

Just sayin'.

-Chris
Weather Moose

Middle Aged woman said...

We have lots of Penis Restaurants around here. They are more commonly known as Hooters.

Mary said...

There are so many reasons not to say anything here. Everything that comes to mind is inappropriate or I stutter without even talking.

Allison said...

Thank you, thank you thank you for this!

Bill Plaschke is one of my all-time favorite sports reporters. To hear him order "the smallest...well, not..." penis is the best!!

This just makes me think of the Celebrity Jeopardy skit on Saturday Night Live "Sean Connery" takes the Penis Lightier for $100 or whatever.

small town city girl said...

Thanks for the great laugh! Penis Restaurant...love it!

Mekhismom said...

Band yes, baby name - not so much.

Kat said...

Plaschke saying "you want the penis with the bone" was THE. BEST. THING. EVER. I am so totally rooting for him next time on Around the Horn. Screw Woody Paige!

Miss Grace said...

For some reason it just reminds me of the part in E.T. where Elliot calls his big brother Penis Breath.

LiteralDan said...

Rikki: Well now we're all ready in case of twins, right?

MamaNeena: Send her? Try sell her! I'm nothing if not mercenary.

MamaDawg: Yeah that's one of the worst ones I've heard

ThreeBoys1Mommy: Do you mind if I just call you P?

Seriously Mama: I'm hoping for your child's sake he/she was referring to a breakfast sausage. Otherwise let me know where I should send the flowers!

Swirl Girl: I don't think I want to eat at the restaurant right next to the Vagina Diner... I believe it's some kind of shady chocolatier.

Chris: Thank-youuu, come-a-gain!

Midde Aged woman: One sec, I'll run over to my drum kit to play you the rimshot that deserves-- nice.

Mary: Just do like me-- say it all, stuttering or no. Life's funnier that way.

Allison: You're very welcome, m'lady. I always strive to provide penis-related videos to strange women whenever the opportunity arises. My favorite "Sean Connery"/Celebrity Jeopardy moment is when he calls for "TheRapists" for $200. Classic.

Small Town City Girl: I hear they have franchises all over the world...

Mekhismom: Don't forget the key distinction-- celebrity baby name. I bet if I threw it out there in Hollywood there would be a bidding war for exclusive rights.

Kat: I miss watching sports shows-- that's some of the many hours of TV I've slowly sacrificed over time. I'm down to (pretty much) just The Daily Show and Colbert Report now, watched in double-speed on my DVR. So that's less than 2 hours a week-- somebody praise me!

Miss Grace: That was pretty edgy for a kids movie in 1982, methinks. I feel horribly offended just reading it now.

The Microblogologist said...

To bad the name Kum & Go (a gas station chain here in Iowa) is already taken, it would have been the perfect name for the take out version of the Penis Restaurant!

Heather said...

Way to go. I enjoyed the interview. If you check Etsy.com you can find a penis wedding cake topper.

LiteralDan said...

The Microblogologist: I've heard tell of such a gas station, and I still can't believe in all these years, no one thought maybe they should transition to a different name, like K&G or something. But then, what would everyone giggle at?

Heather: I'm assuming it's plastic, or something, right? Otherwise that could be featured on the dessert menu at this place.

Lil Sass said...

'The smallest kind of penis' what??

THIS IS HYSTERICAL!!

Trooper Thorn said...

That's a good one: Celebrity Baby.

Do you really need a whole restaurant for penis cuisine? It seems like the sort of food best served on a stick. All you need is a cart on the sidewalk then. Wash it down with a cold can of Bat Piss.

Thanks for your comments on Olympic outfits. I'm working on another posting today.

LiteralDan said...

Lil Sass: Isn't it? I'm glad everyone liked it as much as I did.

Trooper Thorn: That was my first thought-- even burger joints have hot dogs and other stuff. How could they only have penises?

I'd prefer a cold can of Crab Juice.

Andrea said...

I'm lost for words.

Blech.

My tummy feels funny watching just a portion of that video.

A new diet tactic, perhaps?!?

Natalie said...

wow! there are no words to even say here. i can't even imagine a restaurant that only served penis. i will try just about everything, but i don't know what i think of eating penis.

LiteralDan said...

Andrea: Am I to assume the funny tummy feeling isn't hunger?

Natalie: What if they came up with some kind of classy French word for it? What's the French for "This is not a penis?"

Ringleader said...

We have a place nearby named "Lung Fung" Restaurant- due to the very real image I have in my brain of "lung fungus" that this conjures, I will never be able to eat there. Nor will I ever be able picnic at "Ecola State Park"- anything even remotely spelled like ecoli sends me running for the hand sanitizer!

LiteralDan said...

I'm with you on the bad-association front.

And I feel sorry for whoever they named that park for...

ric said...
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