16 September 2008

A conversation with D-: Does not compute

Here is yet another example to illustrate that my 4-year-old son D- has been cursed with the same obsession with semantics that has thus far defined my time on this earth. This conversation took place at the park after I picked him up from his second day of preschool:

Me: So, did you learn any of the other kids' names today?

D-: No.

Me: Really?

D-: Yeah... I think I knew some but now I forget.

Me (only slightly incredulous): So you don't know any of the kids' names in your class yet?

D- (immediately, and eagerly): Yes I do! D----... that's me.

I had to thank him for sticking that clarification in there at the end, because as awkward as it was, I had completely forgotten his name just that afternoon, so his point had gone right over my head.*

* Now that he's mastered semantics, the next lesson is Sarcasm.**

** And then Footnotes.


Anonymous said...

You are completely hilarious.

Love your writing and I'm gonna blog roll you. After the caffeine hits my system.


unmitigated me said...

Trust me, he's already thinking in footnotes, he just doesn't know how to spell much yet.

CaraBee said...

Oh I don't know, I think he might already be in to sarcasm. Smart kid.

Shannon said...

I'd try and hold off on teaching him sarcasm... once they learn, they never stop. Never.

sarah said...

OOOOOH a sarcastic semanticist......
you're in for it, its that's not apparent enough already!

Kat said...

My 4 year old totally doesn't get sarcasm. Crying fits have happened when I have used joking sarcasm around her. Good grief.

Mama Dawg said...

I LOVED it when my daughter finally learned sarcasm.

Now I just gotta teach her irony and we're set.

Anonymous said...

and the student will become the master!

Aracely said...

My son has taken the liberty of assigning the names of his brothers to all his new friends (it's just easier that way) and he refers to all the girls in his class as princess (thanks again, Disney).

steenky bee said...

Oh, you better watch him. He's a smartie. Maybe let him think he's clever for a little while, then BAM! take him down a notch. (Do not take parenting advice from me.)

Swirl Girl said...

Literal Dan? Meet Literal D-

is it no wonder?

Jenny Grace said...

It's all in how you raise 'em. I could swear to you my 2.5 year old already gets sarcasm. What is THAT about?

Renee said...

Somehow I don't think I'd even bat an eyelash at his corrections. The kid knows what he's talking about. It is you who is confused.

Ali said...

I really did forget my son's name the other day, but only for a nano second. Sarcasm? Not so much. Frazzled 35 year old woman? Yep.

Leslie said...

Thanks for sharing, Dan. (That's you.)

Kori said...

He is well on his way.

Natalie said...

wow. he is a smart one! love that!

Unknown said...

Love it! Your stories always make me laugh.

Dad Stuff said...

Sometimes I forget to remember too. Or is it remember to forget?

The Microblogologist said...

OK, I'll bring up the footnote brilliance once again. A footnote on a footnote about footnotes. You are definitely an evil genius working to take over the blog world with footnotes, though since it is highly amusing I am fine with it...

LiteralDan said...

The Yummy Mummy Cooks Gourmet: Why thank you! Hopefully you didn't snap to common sense with the caffeine.

Middle Aged Woman: That's not true, he knows how to spell 7 whole all by himself he can he really can wanna hear him do it do you do you do you??

CaraBee: I'm sensing some sarcasm in your saying "I don't know".

Shannon: But I don't know how to stop! I try, but what can you do?

Sarah: No, no it's not apparent at all. ;-)

Kat: Wow. Don't ever bring her to our house, or should I say, "you should totally bring her to our house, she would just love it here.

Mama Dawg: Don't you wanna try to squeeze in driving, geometry, and financial independence somewhere?

MamaNeena: Bite your tongue!

threeboys1mommy: Your son sounds like he may in fact be a member of the Rat Pack. Have you by chance ever caught him holding a martini and cigar while wearing a three-piece suit with the tie undone, dollface?

jenboglass: I don't need to-- we clearly have some kind of a mind-meld going on.

Swirl Girl: Yes, it is no wonder. It is through this new, pure vessel that I have learned all the many ways I am irritating as f***.

Miss Grace: Some kids are just fast learners, at least for the important things in life.

Renee: It's true, sadly.

ali: Oh we've all had those moments-- you might call out the fish's name before you get it right.

Laggin: You're welcome... wait, which one is me-- Dan, or Laggin? I only wish everyone was more specific and precise when speaking with me!

Kori: But is the world ready for him?

Natalie: Don't encourage him! For all I know, he's learned to read in secret and is just toying with me at storytime, then going online to pour over the blog from his stupid VTech toy laptop somehow later on.

Mekhismom: Glad to be of service, madame.

Dad Stuff: I forget, but as I recall, it's more important to remember what you've forgotten.

The Microblogologist: Take over the world, or frustrate casual readers, whichever comes first.*

* Or easiest.

I am a Tornado ~ proven fact! said...

I love it when my girlys out smart me. It happens all too often around here. At it is those times when I'm start to believe I'm completly inept as a parent.

Then one of them scrapes a knee and they need some mommy love and I am needed.

I only have a few more years of knee scraping - so what do I do then? UGH!

LiteralDan said...

You just hang around as a big useless lump with a wallet and a lot of lectures. Isn't that how kids see their parents?

The Stiletto Mom said...

Oh I'm so glad I found you...I've been hearing about you everywhere! And it seems the apple never falls far from the tree! I had the most interesting conversation with my 9 year old last night about saving for the future. Stop by my blog if you have a minute and read...you'll get a kick out of it.
Your blog is FAB. I will be a daily stalker...you have been warned. :)

Meg said...

Well, I said before I think your son is a future blogger. It appears he'll be a humor blogger.

Like you.

Sort of. ;)

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

Ha ha ha...what a kid!

LiteralDan said...

The Stiletto Mom: Wow, really? Thanks! If everyone's really talking about me, I guess that explains why my ears have been burning so much lately.

I'll have to send a note of apology to my doctor for screaming at him when he insisted there was no sign of infection or anything else he could help me with.

I'll be sure to stop by and check that story out!

Meg: I believe the correct term is Attempted Humor Blogger.

Colleen: He is something, alright, but I'm sensing that he may not technically qualify as a kid for long.