28 November 2008

Thanksgiving's done, now on to Christmas, right?

I'm going to be brutally honest with you all* right now.

If you don't have one of these, you are the opposite of how cool this guy is
Why has no one told me all these years that someone out there was manufacturing giant, lighted, inflatable Santas with bitchin' shades on a sweet hog??

I've been making an idiot out of myself all this time by NOT having one of these in my yard! For how long am I now doomed to rue these wasted years??

You have brought shame upon us all with your deception.



* Or should I say, those of you who aren't doing your patriotic duty right now elbowing old ladies in the face at fire sales down at the mall. You're all off the hook, as I'm crying a single red, white, and blue tear for your brave sacrifices.

10 comments:

Vodka Mom said...

Get with the program. WE all have one.

Mrs4444 said...

Our (rich, obviously) neighbors down the road have at least 20 blow-ups in their yard for both Halloween AND for Christmas. They live in the house that families drive past every year as part of tradition. We bought one for Mr4444's mom one year; she loved it so much. Unfortunately, some bastard stole it about a week after we put it out.

Middle Aged Woman said...

Husband and I like to comment on the similarity of the spellings of Santa and Satan when we see one of those. Very Church Lady-like.

Brittany said...

Owning one of these was the only way I could get Homeland Security to stop tapping my phones.

IrishGumbo said...

Crikey, does everything have to be a competition? Man, now I gotta go and get rid of the snoring Santa, and get me one of those!

This should look great in my creche next to the glowing Baby Jesus, the camel weraing sunglasses and the giant inflatable pumpkin!

Momo Fali said...

My Santa not only rides a motorcycle, but he also plays guitar and sings Freebird. Your Santa needs to get with the program.

Joe said...

Ugh... long live the commercialization of Christmas.

LiteralDan said...

Boy, it's lonely around here these days! You'd think people were spending as much time away from the computer and with their families as I've been.

Vodka Mom: Why do I feel like I'm frantically looking around the lecture hall as I realize I somehow showed up to class in my underwear without noticing?

Mrs4444: Twenty?!? Wow, that seems like a bit much. It'd be hard to resist peggin' them with a BB gun if one were a teenaged boy.

Who steals such things? Probably someone from the aforementioned group.

Middle Aged Woman: I've always been fascinated by that, because words rarely mean nothing. Maybe the saying should be, "The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he is Santa."

Leaving coal is how he hand-picks his future minions.

Brittany: Nice. But I bet they're still doing it, and they just switched to quieter, less conspicuous bugs.

I mean... AMERICA IS THE BEST, THUS OUR PRESIDENT IS THE BESTEST. BOO ALLAH AND LIBERALS!

IrishGumbo: No, no, you misunderstand. You have to get an ADDITIONAL Santa-- you NEVER get rid of an existing Santa.

I think Motorcycle Santa and the Sunglasses Camel should be posed as if they are racing, because that's what such creatures would inevitably do in real life.

Momo Fali: I just had an involuntary shiver when you called it "my Santa"-- don't do that!

But it's true-- your Santa does sound a lot cooler.

Joe: I'll drink some Acme-brand Egg Nog to that!

IB said...

Where do I get one? I must have it!

Thanks for the entertaining blog.

IB

http://idiotsstew.blogspot.com

LiteralDan said...

I can't point you to a house down the street, if you want one. I recommend shopping only at night.

Other than that, I have no idea where these things come from, other than that they might just spring up spontaneously from the ground in the night, like mushrooms.