27 November 2008

What are turkeys thankful for?

As my American readers know, today is Thanksgiving.* On this day, we are expected to give thanks for the plenty of food and family/friends we are lucky enough to have, and we are meant to celebrate this by ridiculously overindulging in both.

Because of this extreme ritual, we can manage as easily to last an entire year at a time without eating corn-syrup-soaked cranberries jellied into the shape of a can and as we can go that same year without again speaking to or otherwise acknowledging those most distant relatives whose branch of the family tree you can't easily trace.

This holiday is our central teaching tool for that noble tradition our ancestors set in place so long ago: When blessed with plenty, burn through your stores like the freezer's broken; when tested by famine, may you begin to understand why.**

Amen. Now pass me some of those candied corporate profits-- I'm starving!



* Canadian readers: You may not be aware of it, but what you celebrated last month is rightly called "Canadian Thanksgiving". Please see that you correct your calendars.

** It's believed there was a followup proverb, lost to history, saying essentially that one can always guilt a bunch of Indians into sharing all their stuff whenever you need some.

10 comments:

LiteralDan said...

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Save J- a thigh!

Comedy Goddess said...

Very funny!

Happy thanks I am giving to you and yours!

Middle Aged Woman said...

I believe that is also the modus operandi of both our government and our economic system. Happy Thanksgiving to the LiteralDan family.

Deranged Princess said...

Will have to get on the calendar correction for next year. Anyway - Happy Thanksgiving to you. Enjoy!

How to Party with an Infant said...

Happy Over Indulgence Day. May you grow fat and prosper.

cIII said...

Does anyone ever eat that Cranberry Can?

And since we're talking about Excess and stuffing somethig up the Arse end of others.....

There are a few Greedy Wall Street personalities that I'd like to go all Peperage Farms on.

Gobble, Gobble, Dan.

Swirl Girl said...

Happy Day, Dan

Vodka Mom said...

happy turkey day! Thanks for the chuckle.

Pearl said...

Mmm. Candied profits!
Pearl

LiteralDan said...

LiteralDan: You're so thoughtful, you handsome devil, you.

Comedy Goddess: Thanks, glad you thought so. I hope your day was as nice as ours.

Middle Aged Woman: It's the American way!

Deranged Princess: I'm glad to hear it, eh?

How to Party with an Infant: Thanks-- hope your day went well, too. I'm pretty sure I'm well on my way toward the first part, at this point, but not so sure about the second.

cIII: I do, but only when mixed with turkey and mashed potatoes on a nice, crusty roll. Mmmmm...

I think we'd all enjoy that! Maybe we'll be lucky enough to have a Cousin Eddie bring us each one with a big bow this Christmas?

Swirl Girl: It was, thanks-- and yourself?

Vodka Mom: Same to you-- hope it was a good one! And you're welcome.

Pearl: Just save me a slice, that's all I ask.