17 February 2009

Classic quotes, Vol. 11

Here is the latest batch of quotes from around here, this time from my 4-year-old son D- and my freshly 2-year-old daughter M-:

M- (irritatedly, after kissing my cheek): You supposeda shave!

D- (not holding a cup...): I'm very thirsty, that's why I'm drinking the 'drink in my mouth'.

M- (pointing to my bare chest at the breakfast table, reviewing a recent lesson from J-): THAT'S not breasts...*

D- (after fearsomely growling and punching the shower wall): Hey! Wow, that hurts!!

M- (in a cute, timid voice, while J- is lecturing her): Ummmm... I can do... whatever I want.

D- (anytime he's truly frustrated at an inanimate object): That's just IDIOTS!



* Yes, I'm aware that this is the second remark I've recently recorded of M- pointing at my bare chest, but what can I say? Shirts and socks are for people who leave the house.

Also, I want to note that it's good to know I'm still at least in good enough shape not to offer her any confusion on the breast issue.

18 comments:

Another Suburban Mom said...

You are a funny guy Dan!

MamaNeena said...

I'm beginning to wonder if you're not just some unshaved naked man running around chicago.

Middle Aged Woman said...

Bruce Banner frequently busts out of his shirts, too. Are you green-ish?

Ali said...

HaHa! When mine become frustrated they'll say "Barnacles!" Hmmmm, maybe I need to pay more attention to this Spongebob thing...

Ali said...

HaHa! When mine become frustrated they'll say "Barnacles!" Hmmmm, maybe I need to pay more attention to this Spongebob thing...

Father Muskrat said...

I say some of these, too, but no one thinks it's cute. They think I belong in a helmet.

Miss Grace said...

Count your blessings. At least M- didn't look at your bare chest and declare that you HAVE breasts.

Brittany said...

I was totally gonna say, the day she asks you why you have breasts (like mommy's) is a bad day, so I would count this a smashing success, YAY YOU!

Mama Dawg said...

Always a relief to know you don't have moobs.

Trooper Thorn said...

Not breasts? What do the kids say when they see Hulk Hogan on American Gladiators?

LiteralDan said...

Another Suburban Mom: Well, thanks, and welcome!

MamaNeena: Not completely naked, and I prefer to walk.

Middle Aged Woman: Only during some of those most special moments clearing out the training toilet. Bran should be avoided.

Ali: My son loves to say "Blistering Barnacles!" like Captain Haddock from The Adventures of Tintin, and his sister parrots him now and then. I'm grateful to anything that gets small children to say such a humorous word.

Father Muskrat: Helmets are cute, right? Maybe there's hope for you at last.

Miss Grace: I suppose that makes two blessings then, huh?

Brittany: I'd like to think that day will never come, but thanks for allowing your word choice to imply my tragic destiny is already set in stone.

Just in case, I'd better lock in my 2009 prices on mansieres.

MamaDawg: I tell myself that every morning right when I wake up.

Trooper Thorn: They'd ask why that scary-looking lady has a mustache, and why she can't just let the past lay as it is and move on to a new phase of life.

Mary said...

well, that's just idiots.

cIII said...

Funny.

I said the same thing M. did.

I was in Austria drinking Jagermeister and Goldshlager and a very pretty woman sat down next to me and, well, we sort of hit it off until I noticed....

"Hey....THAT's not breasts."

ah...memories.

Always Home and Uncool said...

Based on that first one, M- seems to be a Chico Marx fan. How did she ever get to be Italian?

LiteralDan said...

cIII: Always, always check what is and isn't breasts before getting too invested. That was like the first The More You Know tip, wasn't it?

Always Home and Uncool: Are you kidding? She's about 50% Italian(-American).

You should see her little mouth struggling to find the words to describe the lifelong blood feud we are each forcing her into daily through otherwise minor infractions.

I prefer my brand of passing Irish(-American) rage, flaring up to remarkable heights before floating back down with a smile, every couple hours or so.

True Blue Texan said...

I think I have a new pet phrase- "that's just IDIOTS". Sums up so much going on in this country.

Stupid, insulting, racist cartoon in the Post? That's just IDIOTS!

Stupid John Cornyn (R) from Texas (I'm sorry. We're not all like this dweeb) That's just IDIOTS!

It fits everything! I love it!

TerriRainer said...

What? No man-boobs????

:) Terri

Mrs4444 said...

Breast, chests; sorry, but neither belong at the breakfast table, Dan. What kind of "home-schooling" is that?! :)

Loved the little shower episode :)