Here are some of the latest developments around here:
1. Since my wife rented Season 1 of Big Love from the library recently, I just have to say here that it should come with some kind of warning label along the lines of the following:
If you have no specific desire to see Bill Paxton's taint, do NOT watch this show. Or, alternatively, choose a trusted friend or family member for Taintwatch duty, provided they have gone through the requisite advance research viewings.
2. I found out that the one time having anatomically correct toy horses (thanks, Schleich!) transcends its usual low-level creepiness is when my 2-year-old daughter M- persistently questions my account of which one is the Daddy horse.
This is probably the only kind of proof that she'd agree is irrefutable, what with her recent promotion in the Penis/No-Penis police force (PNPPD).
3. Speaking of penises, if the Sender Name field of half the e-mails in my spam folder are to be believed, I send myself an awful lot of messages about "male personal enhancement" that I then completely forget having sent.
I'll need to make sure I let Google know to pass each one of these missives straight into my inbox in the future. What's wrong with those eggheads?? This is ME we're talking about! Surely I am above suspicion and can be allowed through my own security detail, right?
4. My daughter has revealed herself as a scientific genius who just might make this family millions of dollars someday... she's invented the world's first Color Magna Doodle!
How much would your kids pay for that, right? Out of pity, and because we're such close friends, I'll share a little hint at the secret formula with you. I'm sure you understand that the exact ratios and procedure have to remain a trade secret at least for the time being, but I can tell you that you will need:
• a Magna Doodle, and
• a bunch of crayons.*
* If pressed, you may substitute permanent markers for crayons in this recipe, but it just won't be quite like Momma used to make.