13 October 2009

Amusing searches, Vol. 3

Here are some more of the most amusing searches that brought people here recently.

In honor of Christopher Columbus, in whose name half my family got to spend an extra day at home yesterday, this list is a random, confused hodgepodge that stumbles upon others' familiar territory.

(All search strings are reprinted exactly as they were entered.)

"parenting jokes" in good taste" - You came to the wrong place, my friend.

awkward hispanic moments - With only 6.8% of the Portland, Oregon population reporting Hispanic heritage, I'm guessing all the "Hispanic moments" in your hometown are awkward.

HOW TO KNOW I AM HERO - You may not like the answer, but here it is: if you have to Google it, you are not a hero. If you Google it in all caps, you just might be a supervillain. Not sure if that's any consolation.

someone put meth in my shampoo - Jenny the Bloggess, is that you??

ben affleck is a son of a bitch - Were they were looking for argument, validation, or evidence? I don't have anything in particular against Ben Affleck, but this searcher is pretty convincing...

judgmental hoe - Sure, I spout off a lot about a lot of people and things, but that's no cause for name calling. After all, I haven't publicly said anything negative about you. Yet.

Oh, and, P.S., since you're visiting from Athens, I know you're probably not a native speaker, but here in America, most of our gardening implements are pretty open-minded and fair. Except for the pruning shears... those bitches can be as bad as post-hole diggers.

12 comments:

Neena said...

now I must figure out how to clean coffee off my laptop screen! Thanks for the laugh this morning, LD.

Middle Aged Woman said...

I think Ben Affleck is a good guy, what with doing Jimmy Kimmel, and all. That HAD to be out of pity.

Danny G. said...

I don't get any searches that hilarious, but I REALLY REALLY want to! :)

Muskrat said...

Wouldn't it be "ho"? I'm always unsure about how to spell that word...especially the plural. I lean toward "hoes" but am told it's "hos."

Skye said...

This is just my favorite thing. :)

James (SeattleDad) said...

I always love these types of posts. Always pretty hilarious. Mine are all a version of Luke, I am your Father.

Joe @ IrrationalDad said...

Did that dude (or chick) seriously use THREE quotation marks in that first one?

Good Will Hunting was a brilliant movie, so I kinda have to like Ben, right? Then again, Gigli. I could go either way.

Harlem's A Hatin said...

Someone put meth in my shampoo, hilarious!!!

http://harlemshaterade.blogspot.com

Mary said...

I made the mistake of saying "where's my new hoe" out loud. I wish the e was not silent.

Alex said...

Haha, nice. Thanks for the laugh.
How do you find out what people searched to get here? I want to try it out!

Midwest Mom said...

I am now imagining Superman hunched over the computer, furtively checking over his shoulder while googling "HOW TO KNOW I AM HERO".

Must be the kryptonite talkin'...

- Julia

Miss Grace said...

I really do love when people post their google searches.

THEY'RE JUST SO GOOD