23 May 2008

She makes it look so easy

You know, as someone who at times works too hard to be funny, I have to admit that I feel more than a little bit jealous that someone like M-, my 16-month-old daughter, can just grab a random hat that's too big (or better yet, something that's not even a hat), put it on her head, then toddle out and say, "Ott!" (hat) to get big, well-deserved laughs all around.

For example:
A typical morning with the reincarnated spirit of Richard Pryor*I could write more, but I'm too busy playing Salieri to her Mozart. Perhaps I should just stop here, to imitate her minimalist style.

...

Is it working?

Damn.


* (see picture) In case you have the same jammies at your house and you're wondering if that is indeed an oversized zero-to-3-months-sized nightgown, the answer is yes, yes it is. To further spite the titans of the children's clothing industry, it also used to be D-'s. Three points for us!

14 comments:

Shelle said...

okay you are totally hilarious...wow, I wish I could write that well...mine is just crap that rolls from my head...but it's a stress reliever and so I do it...and hope that people can understand it the way it was meant...I've always aspired to be a writer, but it's only a dream.

So now I am going to lose my soul and probably vote for you...so thanks for commenting over at my blog...because YES my clock is always 10 minutes late!!! :)

Pauline said...

Cute kids.
and thanks for stopping by my blog! you are my first "man comment!" I may devote a post to you.
As for freelancing, email me and maybe we can network?

Mama Dawg said...

Gotta love recycling!

Yes, the "ott" is too cute and for some reason, it's only cute on those 2 and under....but not on a 30 year old woman. Wonder why?

Vanilla said...

I just tried this at my office to get a few laughs, but apparently it's not the same when a 32 year old banker prances around with the shred box on his head saying "Ott!"

Whatever man. I guess it's true that it's always funnier when kids do it.

Vanilla said...

OK, two more things. 1. I really need to read the comments before I post because mama dawg totally beat me to the why-isn't-it-cute-when-I-do-it joke. And 2. Quit hogging all the votes in the Best of Blogs voting. Save some for the rest of us.

Natalie said...

yeah...i have a kid like that! he's 10 and comes up with great one-liners at the drop of a hat. no effort at all for him. then we all laugh. later i try to remember what he said so i can tell someone else, and i never can. sigh. he gives them to me for free, and i still can't seem to use them!

Mama Dawg said...

Sorry Vanilla. You gotta be quick on his blog!

By the way, I love your song. Ice, Ice Baby!

SherE1 said...

Love it! M's got her "rally hat" on. Are you impressed? I learned that from the ex-ballplayer husband.

My son was wearing his sleeper this morning that is two sizes too small, un-buttoned from the hip down and feet out. Solidarity, brother!

Vanilla said...

Thanks Mama Dawg, but Queen and David Bowie totally ripped it off.

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

Thanks for your sweet comment today. I'm off to write my "Dear Gravity" letter now... :)

Crazed Mom said...

When did they start passing out points for hand me down clothing? Jeez. My kids are 17 and 19 and they wore many of the same outfits just at different times. I want my points. Hmmmmmmmmm, let's say...1547?

aka JaniceNW

LiteralDan said...

Shelle: Thank you so much-- you're too kind! I think you aren't reading your blog objectively, because I thought it was great. Just keep writing and don't give up your dream, just like the rest of us. Somebody's got to be the one to succeed, right?

Thanks for the vote, and don't worry-- I promise to take good care of your soul. lol

Pauline: "Man comment" sounds so much more formal, and fraught with expectations, but I like it. I'll keep tabs on you and look for that post.

Mama Dawg: Depends on the ott, methinks. Women can certainly pull off hats more easily than men, in most cases.

Vanilla: Case in point-- I bet Mama Dawg would crack everyone up with the new Shred Box look. Whaddya gonna do?

I've been trying to share, but I have a bunch of loyal (and freshly soulless, thanks to my tote bag offer) followers propelling me. They think I'm some kind of prophet or something, or maybe I'm just planting that seed now for people to get carried away with... either way...

It took me a little poking around to realize you're nominated in the same category. Your picture was familiar, but your "Daddy Blog" isn't shown in your profile anymore-- how come?

Natalie: You should start carrying around a tape recorder so you can begin milking him for all he's worth. It's the responsible thing to do, after all.

Mama Dawg: Thanks, now that song is going to be in my head all day.

SherE1: I am indeed impressed. I always wondered how that started. But hey, who cares? Sports are awesome like that. I'm not sure what M- would be rallying for in this case-- she runs the house and does pretty much whatever she wants, so it seems unsportsmanlike to push for more at that point.

People don't realize how much longer clothes, particularly sleeping clothes, can last once you unsnap/button/zip everything, and rip the elastic a bit. I mean, it worked for The Incredible Hulk, right?

Vanilla: I know, right? lol Seriously, though, thanks for saving me from a week of Ice, Ice Baby with that much more awesome song. One of my favorites.

Half-Past Kissin' Time: Hey no problem-- thanks for the cool post. I might have to borrow the format myself some time. Pleas to Gravity fall on deaf ears, I forewarn you.

Crazed Mom: Good for you-- SherE1 and I are carrying on your torch fighting the capitalist machine. I defer to your enormous lead in points. Are your kids different genders? Cause then you get extra points, and you'd have much more. I think I'd be around 700-something already, cause I have no shame whatsoever.

Mama Dawg said...

I would never be so low as to wear a Shred Box hat. It would have to be something classier like a Mr. Coffee box or something classic like that. The classiness would just elevate the humor to a higher level.

But you are right that I could pull it off. LOL's all around with that look.

Vanilla-Don't you just hate it when other so-called artist steal your "tunes"? They oughta be shot.

Dan-you're more than welcome for getting that song stuck in your head. I could come up with some worse, though. Want me to?

LiteralDan said...

I envy your genius and versatility. And society's apparent acceptance of said qualities.

Oh, please don't. I've had pretty bad experiences with some awful songs making me hate myself for days at a time.