The father of all days

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. I hope your days are as nice as mine has been!

I figured I should take it easy today, this holiest of days, so I'll be short and as much to the point as my thinking patterns allow me.

This morning, I didn't get out of bed until almost noon, but before you get too jealous (though certainly a little jealousy is called for), you need to be aware that the long-term efforts of my lousy, perky children have resulted in my inability to sleep continuously past maybe 8:30 on the very best day. Persistence allowed me to at least nap a bit after that, though, and it was much appreciated.

Upon getting up, I found my lovely wife cooking up an entire loaf of french toast, because I had apparently mentioned last time (being the casual, prolific genius I am) that we could easily reheat some for easy breakfasts for the kids. And as usual, I'm nothing if not correct, so that makes this brunch a gift that will keep on giving for the next couple of days. It's almost enough to bring a tear to the eye of a lazy fellow like me.

I was then presented with an impressive homemade card conceived, dictated, and recopied by D-, largely celebrating his own superhuman exploits. The text is as follows:

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
WE LOVE YOU!
D- FLEW TO THE COUCH. HE IS BIG! YOU ARE A GREAT DADDY. HAVE A NICE DAY!
LOVE, [family names]

Following the card reading, the morning came full circle when I was reminded of my own superhuman abilities as D- met his match in a persnickety piece of french toast. He frustratedly pleaded, "Daddy, can you cut my french toast for me? I can only cut it in worms."

And there you have the essence of fatherhood at a day-to-day level: Shout loudly and carry a sharp fork.