15 June 2008

The father of all days

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. I hope your days are as nice as mine has been!

I figured I should take it easy today, this holiest of days, so I'll be short and as much to the point as my thinking patterns allow me.

This morning, I didn't get out of bed until almost noon, but before you get too jealous (though certainly a little jealousy is called for), you need to be aware that the long-term efforts of my lousy, perky children have resulted in my inability to sleep continuously past maybe 8:30 on the very best day. Persistence allowed me to at least nap a bit after that, though, and it was much appreciated.

Upon getting up, I found my lovely wife cooking up an entire loaf of french toast, because I had apparently mentioned last time (being the casual, prolific genius I am) that we could easily reheat some for easy breakfasts for the kids. And as usual, I'm nothing if not correct, so that makes this brunch a gift that will keep on giving for the next couple of days. It's almost enough to bring a tear to the eye of a lazy fellow like me.

I was then presented with an impressive homemade card conceived, dictated, and recopied by D-, largely celebrating his own superhuman exploits. The text is as follows:

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
WE LOVE YOU!
D- FLEW TO THE COUCH. HE IS BIG! YOU ARE A GREAT DADDY. HAVE A NICE DAY!
LOVE, [family names]

Following the card reading, the morning came full circle when I was reminded of my own superhuman abilities as D- met his match in a persnickety piece of french toast. He frustratedly pleaded, "Daddy, can you cut my french toast for me? I can only cut it in worms."

And there you have the essence of fatherhood at a day-to-day level: Shout loudly and carry a sharp fork.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awe! Sounds like a nice day.
You must share your sleeping secrets considering mine get up around 6:30...8:30 is foreign to me...

TentCamper said...

Oh....what a life.
I too slept in a bit...until about 9:30, which was an enjoyable luxury. My boys called me to wish me a happy king's day and to say that they loved me. They are the best!
Gotta love the cards! I got some of the sweetest cards from Insane Mama's kid...it was all I could do to not cry.

A day of lazy, blissful delight!!!!

Crazed Nitwit said...

Congrats on the award. It sounds like you had a nice father's day.

Kori said...

Glad you had a good one!

Candid Carrie said...

Our kids always make their own cards ... Our seven year old's card to dad said, "I know this isn't the best father's day card you will ever get, but I want you to imagine that it is."

How seriously profound is that!

Eeek, I always wish I could run everything through grammar check over here.

SherE1 said...

Happy Father's Day!

LiteralDan said...

MamaNeena: Oh, there's no secret-- all you have to do is just stay up way too late trying to burn the candle at both ends and steal a few extra hours from the Fates.

Also, it helps if you accidentally let the kids stay up till after 9:30, because of your poor time management skills. Since in a recent comment we discovered that you have no such poor skills, you'd have to just plan to keep poking them awake till they are exhausted. Then they just might let you go till 7:30, like mine. But again, you have to have stayed up late or your body will overrule your plans.

TentCamper: Happy King's Day, ay? I like the sound of that. But next time, let the tears flow, man-- no sense holding them back. There, there. There, there.

Crazed Mom, Kori:, and SherE1: Thanks! It was a great one through the end, and today isn't so bad either!

Carrie: That is indeed a profound card. And only 7? That's either an angelic child or an evil genius who wants to store up some credit.

Grammar, schmammar. If you're using Firefox, I'm sure someone has made a grammar-checking add-on you could download.

Cassey said...

Hey, happy fathers' day, a day late.

LiteralDan said...

Hey, you're talking to Mr. A Day Late, so you're right on time! Thanks

Andrea said...

Happy Belated Dad's Day! It sounds like you had a nice, enviable one.

I had quite a few posts to catch up on-you have been busy indeed! I won't have time to comment on many since I still have the touching every doorknob 5 times and counting my paperbacks before I go to bed :).

LiteralDan said...

It was very nice-- thanks!

That's okay, I hear you on dealing with blog backlog. I won't hold it against you.

How did you know that 5 times is the best amount for everything? It's my favorite number :-)