Here are a select few titles of stirring fiction and nonfiction books I might write, should I ever get my act together:
Put That Down: I Won't Tell You Again
When Did The Car Horn Replace The Doorbell? Or, More Proof Americans May Be The Laziest People In The History Of The Planet
Confessions Of Someone Who Wants To Make A Bunch Of Money Selling A Book With 'Confessions' In The Title
Everybody's Stupid Except For Me: Claims I Refuse To Allow To Be Refuted By My Life Experience
I Don't Like Poop, But I Like Sleep: Reasons I Sometimes Regret Having Children
18 June 2008
Potential book titles, Vol. 1
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14 comments:
I think those would be best sellers. Which are fiction?
Love the first and the last the best. You might be onto something here. My personal favorite would be: "It Is Really Going to Hurt Every Time You Do That"
The last one is classic! Although the second-to-last one seems to have a "Literal Dan" feel to it ;)!
I can't decide which I like better. Perhaps if there were some covers to judge by? ;)
These are hilarious! Having come out the other side of the small child experience (I hope you do this again when your kids are in their early teens!) I can totally relate, but I especially like the Confessions one.
When does the confessions book come out? I'm all over it.
you can put me down for one of each of them. i'll preorder.
"Confessions..." will be the next read in my book group.
Now that's why I just adore your blog. Truth + a little smartass = really funny for me.
Let us just hope your book doesn't end up in the bargin bin with my son's memoir "I Killed My Mom Over Naked Internet Photos of Me"
Let me know when they come out. I'll post up a link to the check out at Amazon over on my blog. LOL!
I have the same opinion of poop and sleep.
The poop v. sleep thing - they should warn you about that.
And I've had onversations just like that with my kids.
I love the last one. Why DID I have kids again?
Mary: I think any of them could probably go either way, but the first and third seems most promising as fiction.
Kori: I like that one a lot, and I can totally identify-- you should make a list
Rikki: Why, whatever do you mean, madame?
Tink: Oh I wish I had the time to be so creative, cause that would be fun
andrea: I like this enough to just do it continuously, but I can very much picture a resurgence of material as the kids moved became preteens.
Always Home and Uncool: I've got to let suspense build. You don't just push a lousy Confessions book out there-- that would be ridiculous, and a clearly desperate moneymaking scheme. And that's not what I'm all about.
At least not the actual making of money part, obviously.
Natalie: Sweet! They are $500 each. Before you gasp, the US dollar has dropped in value by about 50% since the time you left for Turkey.
Ms Picket To You: I think demand for this Confessions book may just be enough to pull it out of the ether.
MamaNeena: Only a little smartass? Oh, my friend, that means you aren't reading deeply enough. I am ALL smartass.
Mama Dawg: Hmmm... I guess I owe you for your glowing review of my blog, so I can allow you to take a commission for some of my book sales. Apparently, you'll want to make room on most of your page for "Confessions..." ads, because you will make a killing.
Dad Stuff: I want to find the person who loves poop and hates sleep.
On second thought, no I don't.
citizen of the world: But They never will warn you, because They want you to have more and more kids. Then they just laugh once you're trapped.
SherE1: Unfortunately, the baby store has the strictest "no returns" policy out there.
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