08 June 2008

Where can I buy my Wii gavel?

Exciting news, folks-- remember all those wasted days in childhood spent playing baseball, riding bikes, stomping Goombas, and driving Ganon back to whence he came? Remember how what you really wanted to be doing, as you wandered after school like a lost soul searching for its rightful home, was playing an educational videogame that taught you the ins and outs of working as a federal judge while also helping you develop a healthy respect for centralized authority?

Well, however well you may have managed on your own, now you can feel like a kid again, one lucky enough to grow up in a world that provides for you in the way every kid dreams:

Retired U.S. justice O'Connor unveils video game

Up next from the same company, C. Everett Koop walks us all through a day in a life of Surgeon-Generaling (with a hidden minigame showing us how he makes that delicious fried chicken!); one of America's top archeology professors spends 25 playable hours in a lecture hall convincing you how much his life and career is exactly like an Indiana Jones movie; a comptroller walks us through what exactly comptrolling is all about (now with 40% more paperwork!); and your grandpa inhabits a fully-realized virtual world encompassing an entire suburban den, where he reclines a full 55 degrees before enumerating the many ways in which the world today is much, much worse than when he was growing up.

4 comments:

Momo Fali said...

Maybe that should be my get-rich scheme. Anyone interested in a Loan Processing Game? The levels increase in difficulty as the economy worsens.

MamaNeena said...

Can't they just watch some School House Rocks and call it a day?!

Always Home and Uncool said...

Wait - surgeon general making fried chicken? Well, as long force feds prisoners of warwith it (the slow death by clogged artery torture), I guess that's cool.

LiteralDan said...

Momo Fali: Oh man, that game will quickly become impossible.

MamaNeena: No way, that's so old-school. We need cool new cutting-edge media.

Always Home and Uncool: I'm pretty sure that would violate the Hippocratic Oath.

Dr. Koop's alter ego, Colonel Sanders, had to be created in order to allow him to avoid criticism for driving up business for the medical industry.