Here are just a few of the things I learned the week before last, when we were "camping" in Minnesota:
1. Staying in a cabin nicer than your college apartment disqualifies you from using the term "camping" to describe your trip. Don't tell the rules committee I have been flouting this one.
2. Sleeping bag manufacturers need to be federally mandated to allow at least two extra inches in the circumference of their storage bags, rather than being allowed to continue with their long-standing method of using machines to roll them impossibly tight in a vacuum chamber and then painting the bags on, while laughing maniacally picturing suckers like me trying desperately to re-create these conditions in a musty tent.
3. Bacon* cooked outside is not only extra delicious, but it's also a health food!** I am willing this to be true despite the fact that the eggs cooked in bacon fat made me feel a lethal psychosomatic heart attack coming on with each bite.
4. Swearing off your blog for a week will leave you both painfully out of the habit of writing and severely neglecting your readers for several weeks after your return.
5. A wise blogger-camper heading out for a week would pay an illegal immigrant in PBJ sandwiches to 1) reply to comments, 2) read and summarize the blog posts in his feed reader for the week he's gone and shortly after, and 3) do more than light housekeeping, while he's drunk with power.
* Note to my British and Canadian readers (and anyone else from a place pushing various pork products mislabeled as bacon)-- I refer here of course to good old belly bacon, a.k.a. streaky bacon.
** I didn't say what kind of health.