04 May 2009

Made with 100% of your RDA of cotton fiber

After he relapsed into the unfortunate habit of chewing on his shirt while he was lying in bed one night, I asked my 5-year-old son D- when I noticed it the next morning why he had chosen to nearly disintegrate most of the front of his jammie shirt.

He responded that he was just so hungry he couldn't help himself, trying to guilt me for rebuffing his attempts to stall bedtime just a little longer the previous night by declaring he was suddenly starving.

I told him it was an interesting theory to say the least, seeing as he had barely touched his cornflakes at breakfast. Being the logical wunderkind he is, he reasoned that he was "so full from eating [his] shirt all night, [he] just [didn't] have any room left."

I hereby swear, on all that is good and holy, that both this kid and I will somehow manage to survive the next 15 years without killing each other. After that, it's up for grabs.

11 comments:

Another Suburban Mom said...

DB used to do this. I just had him sleep topless for a while.

Middle Aged Woman said...

Someday, he will be your lawyer.

Mama Dawg said...

You do know that you only need to survive the next 13.....18 is the legal age to kick 'em out of the house, ya know.

Mary said...

Perhaps one day for dinner he could have a shirt -- with ketchup?

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Trust me, I've got three teenagers ... you will NOT survive the next 15 years without killing each other. Sigh ...!

Mary said...

Actually you could take pride in his quick thinking. Pretty clever.

goldfish said...

Downfall of sarcasm: quick-witted kid.

Swirl Girl said...

He sounds perfectly sane and normal to me. Literal Dad.

Miss Grace said...

I'm pretty sure you have no one to blame but yourself.

hubmanshangout said...

Ah, my wife (ASM) beat me to it :-(

I got nothing to add...

Mrs4444 said...

CPS should be knocking on your door Monday morning. (In the meantime, you might want to go grocery shopping, since you obviously don't feed your children enough! Poor kid.)