29 July 2009

Dispatches from 2:30 in the morning

While trying to get back around to sorting out what I'd write for my obligatory BlogHer recap post, (after procrastinating by finishing off the hilarious and amazing How I Became a Famous Novelist by Steve Hely), I was treated to the following foreboding statement from my shockingly sophisticated 2-and-a-half-year-old daughter M-:

"Momma? Daddy? I burped accidentally and now Woof and my pillow and my sheets are all dirty."

Yes, we confirmed that means exactly what you think it means.

So whatever virus came in with the Thursday crowds at BlogHer has taken a third victim, as my wife J- has been recovering in relative splendor and comfort compared to my evening (and particularly my train ride home) on Friday.

Sorry to anyone to whom I may have spread this germ at the conference-- I only came back Saturday evening because I thought I'd had food poisoning (I even had a post all ready about it) and I felt okay enough to seize this wonderful opportunity once again.

Suddenly, I bet Jenny the Bloggess feels somewhat less disappointed about not getting to meet me. Though I'm sure when she met my unfairly lucky wife (who had wandered off with Middle-Aged Woman from Unmitigated) while rushing somewhere alongside THE Nancy W. Kappes, Paralegal, she was exposed to enough of the germs to satisfy my need for schadenfreude.

I mean, how dare she not seek out one of her legion of pathetic followers by holding up a handheld blue-tube filter over each man's face at the convention??

...Now that I think about it, that probably would have taken 10 minutes, tops. Hiding out as a man at BlogHer would be like hiding out as a transsexual on a Guess Who? board. Actually, that would be a perfect pro-level enhancement for Milton Bradley to add.

Anyway, I've had a fun night reminiscing about all the things we fed my daughter yesterday, and now that she's been back to sleep for awhile in what's left of her bed, I figure I should go lay down and cue the next round.

16 comments:

Mary said...

This is not how you want to wake up at 2:00 a.m. But it beats having a little one tell you they don't feel well and then sending stomach contents hurtling through the air to YOUR bed.

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, bitterness.

Topped only by waking to a flash of, "What's that warm stuff all over me and where's that scream/gurgle coming from?"

Actually, I did bring my blue-tube filter to BlogHer...but I forgot the charger. There's another tear in the security curtain.

Sorry we didn't meet in person - at least from across the room!

:-D Anna

Allison said...

Props to you for braving BlogHer.

Middle Aged Woman said...

You survived! I totally lost you guys at BowlHer. I looked all over the place, and was afraid you had gotten sick again. Truth be told, you looked just fine on Saturday night. It was awesome to meet you, and your lovely wife. Next time Husband and I are there, we are taking you both out for dinner.

Miss Grace said...

You're a carrier monkey.

Heidi said...

Oh no! Hope everyone feels better soon. Kids and vomit...yuck...and I'm so sorry.

Youngblood4ever said...

Maybe Karma will hit me in the face for saying this, but I am so glad it was your daughter telling you this and that you were the one that is having to stay up all night with a sick little one. Is that awful of me? Sorry!

Youngblood4ever said...

Really I am sorry that you are all getting sick. Hope M recovers quickly.

Joe said...

Gross. I've only dealt with baby barf so far. It's tolerable because it has a sort of sweet smell to it and isn't chunky. Now that he's on solid foods (the same foods we eat, even).... I'm petrified.

Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas said...

Did I meet you there? It's all still a blur. I hope your daughter is feeling better. My kids had it before I left, but I escaped it (I promise I was not a carrier!).

Aliceson said...

That bug sounds awful. The bed pukes are the worst especially when stuffed animals are involved.

Momo Fali said...

Oh no! I hope she feels better.

It was great to meet you, but I would have NEVER recognized you if you hadn't said something. Next year, you should bring the blue tube!

Mrs. B. Roth said...

Way to keep the swine flu strong. Wahoo, to you.

Everyone gets to go to Chicago and meet (haha) famous bloggers, but me.

Harupmph

Father Muskrat said...

That sucks! So far, so good for me.

Jasper Mockingbard said...

How about Woof? Is Woof okay?

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

We all know the truth is that you were hiding from me.

It hurt, Dan. It hurt a lot.

PS. Kid vomit is worse than cat vomit. I feel for you, my friend.