09 October 2009

Nervous, self-conscious people will now become dramatically moreso

I just wanted to share with you all this development that's busy shaking me to my core. I'm now extra hopeful that they soon build a high-speed rail system in the U.S. on which I can rely in place of air travel. God help me when I need to get overseas...

Will airports screen for body signals? Researchers hope so

They're looking for fidgeting, rapid eye movements, and increased body temperature, perspiration, & heart rate???

This just in: I will be arrested on suspicion of terrorism the day they introduce this technology.

15 comments:

Middle Aged Woman said...

I once had someone come into my office (when I had one, 20 years ago) for a meeting, in which she accused ME of giving HER head lice, even though she lived with her asshole boyfriend's 1st grade kid. The very accusation, made me turn bright red. I'm with you. Flying will be out.

Shannon said...

Oh, jeez. I have to fly next week.

I will not survive in jail.

Sally HP said...

Oh, God, I'm just picturing my sweaty self as I flusteringly try to get both kids coralled since we have to take them out of strollers and packs to get through security. I generally fly with both kids by myself...hope they enjoy foster care when mommy gets arrested! They really think things through sometimes, don't they?

Muskrat said...

I can believe it. You're awfully fidgety.

Kim said...

Hang on, aren't some of those body signals signs of arousal as well?

That would certainly be awkward.

Russ said...

I'll be safe, I'm usually just this side of awake.

Russ said...

I'll be safe, I'm usually just this side of awake.

CK Lunchbox said...

Now all terrorists have to do is make a big deal an attack, announcing it for a certain date range and then sit back in front of Al Jezeer and laugh as security jerks all these nervous people out line for a one-way trip to Git-mo.

I question the common sense factor here, but I do that a lot.

Swirl Girl said...

I guess I'll have to wait to fly again until after I've gone through menopause. They've just described the symptoms.

What ever happened to good old racial profiling??

Mrs. B. Roth said...

I once got pulled over for speeding whilst proudly displaying my expired plates. Cue SCREAMING baby (go girl!). He let me off with a reminder to reregister.

Heh heh heh.

Be the one with the crying kid! Until you get ON the plane, then give loud kid to spouse!

Joe @ IrrationalDad said...

I have been known to, on occasion, purposefully act anxious and suspicious around cops (especially if alcohol was recently consumed), just to see if they would stop and talk to me. They never did.

So, PART of me would like to try that system out, should it ever be introduced. But, airport security scares me. No thank you, sir.

Skye said...

Will they let you keep blogging from your cell?

C. Andres Alderete said...

Crackheads might have a problem with this as well.

Keith Wilcox said...

It's like people who fail lie detector tests just because by being hooked up to one they become convinced they actually did something wrong. Being monitored will, in some people, cause them to act as if they are doing something wrong even if they aren't. It's really a terrible idea.

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