Amusing searches, Vol. 18

Here are more of the most amusing searches that have brought people here, in no particular order.

(All search strings are reprinted exactly as they were entered, and the search text links to the post at which the visitor arrived.)

• things i enjoy my wife hates (Akron, OH) - If you're looking for tips and advice, I unfortunately have nothing much to offer you, but I can say that wives have notoriously poor taste and questionable judgment.

• RI ESCORTS (Warwick, RI) - This was clearly a smart search, because YOU KNOW I AM ALL ABOUT THE RHODE ISLAND EXCORTS, my friend!!*

• when to label a 5 year old girl as homosexual (Quezon City, The Philippines) - How about, "Never"? Is Never an acceptable answer? You'll find out in good time, or not at all, depending on her comfort level...

• PEE (Norvenich, Germany) - Either PEE is a legitimate, dignified acronym in Germany, or I think maybe this was supposed to be some kind of horrible image/video search.

• waxelene for vagina (Valencia, CA) - Sorry, can't help you at the moment, I haven't tried using it on my vagina yet.

---

* Given that you arrived here via an amusing Internet search yourself, sir, it was probably a bit awkward in an "uh-oh, too late" kind of way when you landed on a post in which I was mocking the previous searches of others. Sorry you had to see that... and I'll be sorrier if you ever happen upon this one in future searches. Just make sure it's a good one! No reason...