Here are just three of the rules for life my four-year-old son D- seems to live by:
1. If you are told not to throw a ball in the house, that's merely an invitation to improvise-- parents like to challenge kids to think outside the box. Try bouncing it extremely hard, kicking or rolling it into something with enough velocity to propel it into the air (this process absolves you of any blame), or even rolling it up a wall hard enough to make it hit the ceiling. These are all proven winners that are bulletproof come Lecture Time.
2. There's hot, very hot, and freezing hot.
3. Baby blankets and other small cloths are made exclusively for children's entertainment, rather than for infant warmth, as is commonly misperceived. Additionally, they can be used for home defense by stretching them out across a polished wood floor, forming a devious booby trap for any rival four-year-olds* who might run through without paying attention or thinking about what happens every single time they run over a blanket on a wood floor.
* Important! Remember to slow down whenever you must run near these traps yourself.