03 August 2009

Amusing searches, Vol. 1

I figured I'd start a new post department for the most amusing searches that brought people here, grouped vaguely by theme whenever possible.

All search strings are reprinted exactly as they were entered. This disclaimer frees me from my compulsion to add (sic) to the end of most of these.

22 year old son who is lazy -- I hate to break it to you, lady, but I'm 28 now.

3 year old son mean negative -- I assure you, madame (and I assure you it's a mother asking), your kid is absolutely normal. Possibly advanced, even.

why does my toddler wipe feaces eveywhere -- Because it just feels so damn good. Before you cast the first righteous stone, have you ever, honestly, tried it for yourself?

I don't know if I should be honored or ashamed that I was the 21st hit across all of the internet for this search. It's not my highest unlikely ranking, but it's probably the most vividly disgusting one.

i am not resposible - What a coincidence, friend! You're not the only one. Oh, while you're here, remind me to add your hometown of Frankenmuth, Michigan to my next list of cities with ridiculous names.

11 comments:

Kori said...

That totally cracks me up; the whole 3 year old son thing especially-it must be her first kid.

Mrs. B. Roth said...

My mean negative three year old pooped in the freaking driveway ... just thought I'd share. Good gravy in a basket I LOVE potty training, but it has been over a year now ... it was not this hard the first time around.

Danny G. said...

This is hilarious. You may get readers trying to find you in even more hilarious search strings... maybe if I get some time :)

Swirl Girl said...

I am not "resposible" either...and I am waaaay older than 3 and stopped wiping my feces everywhere a long, long time ago!

Krystal said...

Hey my kids spread feces on the wall, do you see me complaining? Nope - I blog about it!!!

Jake Alger said...

That's it: My next kid is going to be named Frankenmuth, no questions asked. What's that? My wife says "no?" OK.

Badass Geek said...

The things people search for...

Youngblood4ever said...

Now that is just funny. I love looking at my searches and how people find me. Sometimes I wonder what people are really looking for when they come across my stuff.

Elisa said...

You have the kookiest thing in your posts ever - I love it :-D

Joe said...

Some of the searches that get people to my blog are disturbing... like very disturbing. I don't know why because I don't swear on it. I don't talk about sex. I talk about being a dad.... what the fudge?

This is one of them:
i climbed on daddy's belly and his hard

Midwest Mom said...

I LOVE Frankenmuth, Michigan (its claim to fame being of course a 5 acre christmas shoppe and a restaurant that serves a mean chicken dinner.)

My poo-smearing three year old, however, hates it with a vengeance. I'm not responsible for that, though, you lazy 28 year old man, you.

[Just trying to raise your position on those terrific search terms. Let me know how it goes for ya.]

- Julia