07 September 2009

Not to belabor a theme, but...

I was informed by my son's school calendar that apparently today is something called "Labor Day".

Not having been a part of the traditional work force for almost two years now, I'm not quite clear what this means beyond my having to entertain a five-year-old for one extra day this week.

Calling on all my powers of deduction and forensic etymology training, I can only assume that this day must have something to do with honoring the struggle and sacrifice of our nation's childbearers.

Care to share any entertaining stories about your (or your significant other's) own labor experience?*



* Before you answer, keep in mind that my wife J-, rightfully portrayed here most times as an overworked saint and generally sympathetic figure, had such fast labors that she has since declared a handful of other things as more painful than childbirth. Begin hating her... now!

17 comments:

Mrs. B. Roth said...

Seriously tho, what's the big deal, right? The shoot something wacky into your spine, your legs go numb, they slice your tummy, pop out a kid (or three), sew you up, and poof!

I'm with J. Giving birth - piece of cake. I get more nervous about hitting a golf ball over a water hazard!

(and now, since daddy's home today, I think, I think I'll make a cake to honor myself)

IB said...

My wife was in labor 44 hours (long enough to get to know the shift schedules for all the nurses, their first names, names of their kids and favorite colors). I stayed awake with her the entire time. We finally went for the C-section. I almost passed out in the O.R. because I don't do well with the sight of blood. I think the fact we only have 1 child is no coincidence.

Swirl Girl said...

I'm with J...my two kids shot out like wet watermelon seeds squeezed between thumb and forefinger.

about 5 minutes of labor...

and the epidural??? aaahhhh the epidural.

Renee said...

I went ahead and had 22 (4 of which I was 10cm dilated and trying to push) hours of forceps, vacuum extraction, cutting the nethers every which way, until FINALLY some wonderful wonderful nurse said something along the lines of, "Doctor it's time" so they could wheel me in, and slice me open. My second was about 2 months of contractions every ten minutes. No joke. Hospital bed rest (obvs) and a planned c-section that kept moving around on the calendar until FINALLY they could wheel me in, and slice me open. The children -- they don't come easy.

J- said...

Wait a minute! An epidural? I have never had such wonders, the hospital that we were at was too remote to have an anesthesiologist on staff all the time. So it was all natural (except for the induction part), but a very quick all natural.

Sally HP said...

I think the most terrifying part of labor was hoping I didn't s@#t on the table...and then praying that when I finally did for the first time afterward it wouldn't feel like I was being sliced open again. Or maybe it was the 9+pound baby that had to get out somehow?

Dawn said...

J- you are AMAZING! (and yes, I lothe you just a tiny bit too!)

With #1, I, too, got induced, but went through 8 hours of excruciating labor and only went from a 1 to a 2. I, then, gave in to the epidural...which promptly made me go from a 2 to a 10 in less than an hour.
Makes me wonder why I felt the need to go 8 hours without it!

Julie said...

You're EAGERLY awaiting hate-mail? Really? Well anyway, on to my real comment. Today is Labor Day for me, and I am bummed because the library is closed!! I hate it when I need to reschedule...

Muskrat said...

I hated it. It was the most helpless feeling I'd ever had (since I was not yet a dad) to be next to my wife while she was in agony, and there wasn't a damned thing I could really do about it. After a few hours of this, however, she took changed her mind and took the damned drugs.

The next time, he was 6 weeks early, so we were totally shocked and unprepared. Sure they'd send us home, I came home that night, only to have my phone ring and find out I had to come back if I wanted to see my son enter the world. Luckily, I saw some lights on at neighbors' houses at midnight and started knocking on doors to get someone to take the monitor while the girl slept, so I could go back to Emory.

Mama Dawg said...

I'm under a court order never to discuss my labor and delivery with strangers......ever.

Ali said...

#1--12 hours of labor, 2 hours of pushing in which I pooped twice, forceps, 3rd degree episiotomey.
#2--Planned c-section. Piece of cake. He got me back with the colic though.

igster101 said...

Not sure about the funny factor, more ironic though. My oldest was born on Labor Day.

Fragrant Liar said...

Labor? I had four of them, but I have successfully blocked them all out. Except for the part where I tried to shoot a watermelon out a hole the size of a kiwi. Yeah, that part. Your wife, I hate her.

Laggin said...

Um... No.

Youngblood4ever said...

Is J. feeling the hate vibes yet? Not only did I have excrutiating labor pains my epidurals all wore off (4 times). Ya, that sucked. Something in my system doesn't like the numbing sensation and fights it. Whatever the technical term is, I don't take anesthesia well. Holy Mother- Labor SUCKS! But I'd do it again in a heartbeat... if my heart would keep beating (which it wouldn't since my heart sucks just like labor).

I have a friend who told me that labor was just like doing sit-ups, only you are just laying there. UMMM, WHAT? Hell on, so not like doing sit-ups.

I just gave myself a pat on the back for surviving all 4 birthing/labor experiences.

booshy said...

You all are SO making me want to have a kid...not like I wasn't fearing the labor BEFORE I READ THIS.

Thanks.

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