23 January 2009

My ridiculous rhinestone bow 'tis of thee

I had another post scheduled to appear here today, but I decided to pull it in favor of this one, since you all probably will care even less about it in a week or so (I've set myself up nicely to take it easy for awhile).

I had to do some serious digging to find a few articles discussing our recent inauguration, but once I found some, I was most intrigued by this one regarding Aretha Franklin's choice of headgear --or should I say her headgear's choice of host-- when singing at the event:

Requests flood in for 'Queen of Soul's' custom hat

Really? Really.

Am I the only one who saw this hat? Granted, it may have been hard to see anything else in a ten-foot arc behind her, but I'm pretty sure all 3 billion people watching saw the same thing I did.

To refresh your memory, we're talking about the hat shown below:

"We even have a lot of men calling to get it for their wives, mothers and grandmothers," Song said.

Ahhhhh, there we go, there's the answer-- men are f***ing idiots. And I say this as one myself-- my own brand of obliviousness and occasional lack of common sense was issued at birth, have no doubt, but rest assured, Mom, Grandma, Katie, and J-, it absolutely does not extend to thinking that anyone I've ever met, or will ever meet, would want to own, borrow, or even-be-willing-when-forced-at-gunpoint-to-wear this hat.

Gonna be a long Returns line at Mr. Song's shop next week, methinks. That, plus a lot of very unhappy-looking invalid grandmothers being wheeled about town with necks ready to give way under the sheer weight of those bows.

18 comments:

LiteralDan said...

With a hat like this, just imagine how incapacitatingly strong her floral perfume must have been.

In all fairness, she probably just wanted to make sure everyone could see and smell her in the back, 2.4 million people deep.

Middle Aged Woman said...

There are many ladies at Husband's 99% African-American church who wear hats much like this. I think Aretha wanted to make a statement, and succeeded. That being said, I wouldn't wear that hat for all the tea in China.

Laggin said...

As I blogged, "Aretha, girl, step away from the hat!"

Lacey said...

The hat terrifies me. If I actually start seeing other people wearing it... like... in public... I will undoubtedly need to increase my alcohol intake.

Mary said...

Not my style but I heard a lot of people thought it was very Aretha. It did seem to have a presence of its own.

Mary said...

This makes me think of the phrase Sunday-go-to-meeting-clothes. Also, diversion of the eyes to the head so you don't see below the neck. When you can sign like that you get a pass on lots of things.

Miss Grace said...

I'd wear that hat....if I was drinking a mint julep with a bunch of elderly church ladies in a small town in South Carolina? Maybe?

LilSass said...

I swear I'm the only person in America to think this way but as I was standing frigid on the mall, I declared "I LOVE THAT HAT!!" The Diva of Soul can wear any damn thing she wants, cause she's ARETHA FRANKLIN! (Not to mention, church-going Black ladies can kinda put anything on their heads and get away with it, no?)

And um, let us not forget, behind that podium ... that woman is big as a house. So in proportion to her body, it may not have seemed so ridiculous. Imjustsayin

J- said...

I would wear the hat, but it would only be as a ridiculous stunt to make people laugh.

Or of course, if Dan presented it to me seriously as a gift and could manage to keep a straight face.

I am a Tornado ~ proven fact! said...

I was working during THE EVENT, but someone in our cubical area was playing a video stream - I glanced around, said something about how Aretha's voice was aging (or was that the video latency, hard to tell) and I caught a glimpse of something HUGE about her face.

"Dear God, what is that thing?" ... will echo in [my] perfect ears.

Goldfish said...

My birthday is next week. I'm kind of nervous. I'll be sure to practice my acceptance speech ahead of time, though, so I can keep a straight face. Just in case.

cIII said...

Chalk that up on the List of Shit You Can See from Outer Space.

But, oh. Oh, those Pipes.

Can't help but always remember the Aretha strutting around that crappy diner in "The Blues Brothers".

Father Muskrat said...

That's gotta be the ugliest thing I've ever seen on anyone's head ever. Including Davy Crockett's coonskin cap.

jess said...

I would've gone for something wool, with earflaps, if I'd had to be outside in DC. But that's just me.

Jill said...

To Dan, AND all of the comment posters -- THANK YOU. You just cracked me up!

CaraBee said...

This is Aretha we're talking about. She's the Queen of Soul, not the queen of understated headwear.

Kim said...

I can't stand it when people sign on just to write LOL. That said . . .

Mama Dawg said...

I totally did not get the hat. It's awful.

However, my 59 year old mother loved it. Not enough to buy one, but she liked it.

Ecchhhh....