28 January 2009

One-item lists, Vol. 1

We all know I like me a good list post. Because my unfinished list-post backlog is reaching critical mass, I figured we could start the year off by purging some of these in one largely child-centric meta-list:*

Child-Themed Game Shows
1. Oatmeal or Vomit?

Reasons Child Services May Pay Us A Visit
1. My 4-year-old son D- says things like, "I'm holding my lip because you punched me there" after practically leaping into the way of my unrelated hand gesture.

Life Goals Met At 15 Months (note that M- is now 2 years old)
1. Find Out What Sand Tastes Like. If pleasant, chow down! Note to self: It was extremely pleasant.

My New Favorite Sites
1. This one.

Reasons I Love Hanging Out With Kids All Day**
1. Tossing out a line like, "Not by the cereal on your chinny-chin-chin!" while wiping off a toddler's chin at breakfast will cause the whole room to lose it for a good 2 minutes.



* Note that publishing this post itself was delayed several weeks for reasons unknown even to me.

** Unfortunately, immersing oneself in this for too long can have a severely detrimental effect on one's ability to write blog posts that amuse adults, as well as one's ability to conduct a normal, polite conversation with other adults.

13 comments:

Middle Aged Woman said...

I used to absolutely AMBUSH my neighbor when she got home from work just for some adult conversation when my kids were little!

Russ said...

I like that last one!

Goldfish said...

You have just offered an artful and accurate synopsis of every day of my life. Except for the bacon... I'm missing the bacon.

Allison said...

Great. Cool. Now I really want bacon. But, since I don't seem to have any in my desk, I'll just have to sit here and dream. Thanks!

Mary said...

Wow, you should become a stand up comic with lines like that. Of course, you'd have to play to the preschool circuit.

Miss Grace said...

Oatmeal or vomit would be TOTALLY EASY.

Father Muskrat said...

I don't like oatmeal OR vomit. But I do like Wilford Brimley.

Lacey said...

Ah, bacon. Somehow bacon made this entire post seem entirely grown-up and mature. Totally. Haha. :D

Joe said...

Did you seriously say "start the year off right" on the 28th of January??

Midwest Mom said...

My crew would have bust a gut over the chinny-chin-chin joke...

We're such a pack of monkeys.

Mama Dawg said...

I love juvenile humor, unless it's knock knock jokes. Whoever was the inventor of knock knock jokes ought to be strung up by their short and curlies, drenched in honey and have a sackful of ants let go on them.

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

How am I supposed to concentrate on your witty words of wisdom with this bacon on my screen?

ric said...
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