07 October 2008

Parenthood is...

The usual suspects, Devious and Violent...Finding out that trying to take a quick shower by yourself means someone will poop on the floor.


Editor's Note: I'm thinking I could make this a feature, like the comic Love Is. If you haven't seen it, "it's about two naked 8-year-olds who are married."

33 comments:

Casey said...

I'm really hoping it was one of your pets you're talking about. Kid poop on the floor somehow sounds so much worse...

Debbie said...

Thanks for only posting the one picture. I was getting a little worried.

Always Home and Uncool said...

This photo ... you can see the boy plotting his poop in that grimmace of his.

"love is" someone beating that cartoonist over the head with a loaf of marbled rye.

MamaNeena said...

Oh, I have been in that exact situation...more times than I wish to remember!

I'm loving the craziness of the hair...sorta gives her a bad-ass look!

Natalie said...

that made me smile! so cute they are.

i was called into the bathroom today by my 9 year old because she didn't quite make it to the toilet before her bowels exploded. thankfully the rest of the day she ran to the bathroom as soon as she felt any tummy rumbling at all.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Yes, it's a bit like taking care of the elderly as well.

Brittany said...

YIKES!

Don't you love how as soon as you become parents, you can never take a shower with the shower curtain shut, ever again!? Too many possibilities, something bad always happens behind a closed shower curtain!

Mandi said...

Haha! So true. My 2 y/o is still in diapers, but I do have a husband...

Mrs. B. Roth said...

See, I'd much rather clean the poop of someone I love than clean up dog poop.

The thing is, I always kind of remember where poop has been and have a lingering doubt as to rather my methods of disinfecting were adequate.

Bleach and/or Lysol. I worked for a dental research company. Those are the over-the-counter disinfectants that really work. Poop is not a mess the "go green" with.

Also, you're kids are dang cute!

ali said...

I hope it's the good poop and not the bad poop!

heartacheorheartburn said...

Well at least the kids are cute. That makes it much easier to clean up their messes for sure! Way to go dad!

Mary said...

Are you going to leave us wondering who the offender was? :)
You takes your chances sometimes.

Kat said...

I am trying to decide which one looks like the culprit. I am betting on the girl.

Mama Dawg said...

Oh, man, the look on his face is PRICELESS!

TerriRainer said...

ROFLMAO Did you feel the need to take ANOTHER shower after removing the offending human waste?

If you merely found it on the floor, you got lucky. I think I posted a while back about my five year FINGER PAINTING with poo...there is just something seriously wrong with a child who does that!

I am still traumatized, BTW.

:) Terri

Miss Grace said...

Eventually they'll stop thinking that pooping on the floor is a good idea. Either that or they'll go to college.

blissfullycaffeinated said...

So true, my friend, so true.If not poo, then pee, or vomit, or chocolate milk. They retailiate for those few minutes you take to yourself one way or another, and in our house it does usually involve substances on the carpet.

LiteralDan said...

Casey: Nope, no pets in the house, unfortunately(?)

P.S. It is worse.

Debbie: Oh don't worry, I'm only occasionally that twisted.

Always Home and Uncool: Oh man, if it had been him, he would be dropped off at the orphanage and taken off the blog banner immediately.

I'm sensing some hostility towards that comic...

MamaNeena: She is a badass, my friend, very much so.

Natalie: Sometimes, only the phrase "bowels exploded" will do... those are not good days. You have my sympathy.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life: I'm not looking forward to that. I hope for your sake you don't do that for a living, and I hope for my sake that you (and others) do.

Brittany: I do not love it, madame. This is why my daughter is probably one of the cleanest toddlers in history-- I just strap her into a tub seat and then I won't have to worry about having the curtain thrown open Psycho-style.

Mandi: I'd give you "Prefers Her Fantasy Life's" (above) card if I had it-- I hear she's the person to go to for those kinds of messes.

Mrs. B. Roth: I'd rather not clean up poop at all. Isn't that why the rich have butlers? "Jeeeeeeeves... I need WIPE-eeeeeeees!"

And thanks.

ali: There's a good poop??? I'm not sure I want to know.

heartacheorheartburn: Easier? You mean it can be worse?? Actually, TerriRainer (below) probably has me beat.

Mary: Nope, it was M-. As I stated for the record to "Always Home and Uncool" above, D- would no longer be living at our house if he decided he "couldn't make it to the bathroom" after pulling down his pants and such.

Kat: You win! Guess what you win? I'll give you a hint: it's relevant, and it's something I don't want and don't know what to do with...

Mama Dawg: I'd peg it at a hundred million pennies, because those are the kind of numbers he deals in.

TerriRainer: No, I was in a rush to get the kid to preschool, so I didn't have the option. I debated whether I'd reveal this much if pressed at the door (we ran and barely made it in time).

Given that she's not even two, I'm the only one who looks bad in this situation. Give me a break-- she acts three!

That sounds vaguely familiar, but that may be because I successfully repressed the memory thus far. Thanks for thwarting that!

Miss Grace: Such wisdom in two short sentences... I knew lots of kids like that in college.

blissfullycaffeinated: This is why I'm glad we have all hardwood floors (dark colored=bonus!). Of course, she managed to steer herself to a nice, plush little rug by the window for her sizable present. Feels better on the feet, you know.

Christy said...

Holla! So true, so true...the sad part is, that doesn't change much even when they're older. If my kids are awake (or home for that matter) when I try to take a shower, I am guareteed at least 1 blood curdling scream and a screaming match to which I am supposed to referee.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news for the future.

Ringleader said...

Yes, there could be a whole series on renegade poo alone. Many a time, I had to remove a child from a full tub which they had defiled (the hot water is apparently a little too relaxing), clean the poo off of them, them disinfect the tub, THEN, put them back into the tub to re-bathe. Oh the joy.

I am a Tornado ~ proven fact! said...

Love the series idea.

They are too adorable for words.

I remember 'love is ...'

I think I collected 'em.

Yeah, I'm an 80's chick.

Allison said...

I can't even think of any words.

The Microblogologist said...

Hehehe, love the series idea and the pic is adorable! Think she was 4 when Niecey decided to poop on her mother's coat, I don't think they ever got a straight answer to the question, "Why?!?!?"

Mary said...

I think you're getting a sneak peek at teenage M-. She has that look in the picture.

Joe said...

Since some bloggers partake in "Wordless Wednesdays", can I leave a "Wordless Wednesday Comment"? Because thinking about that leaves me utterly speechless.

CaraBee said...

I don't really have anything to add to this discussion except ewww.

Kori said...

OMG, was that you in my house laughing hysterically over the weekend? the worst of it at my house is that I actually have to, you know, LOOK at it to make sure it is the kid's and not the puppies. Depending on what was for dinner the previous night, this is not as easy as it sounds.

Andrea said...

Seriously, no words were needed with this photo. The pictures says it all!

So cute and mischievious at the same time. Love it! :)

Vodka Mom said...

you know you've been a mom too long when poop neither surprises or offends you.

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

I think it would be a GREAT regular series. Although, unlike the naked, married 8 year olds, I hope you'll mention that Engelbert Hunkerdink (or whatever his name is) a little less often.

Mary said...

I forgot all about that comic and the industry it spawned. I don't think I'm happy that now I remember it.

Cheryl Lage said...

Love is....
freaking out a bit when you hve boy/girl twins and remember those heaven forsaken line drawings.

How I've not visited before I dunno...your fave books, music and blogs overlap repeatedly with my own. As such, am now "brave enough to admit reading this blog."

Like McArthur (or poop on the floor) I'll be back...

Maggie May said...

soooo true!!!!