29 October 2008

Revenge of the Leafs

Since I've been so lax in responding to comments (and visiting people's blogs) in the past few weeks (and possibly indefinitely), I thought that instead of adding a bunch of responses now that no one would see, I'd write a separate post acknowledging your comments on this recent post showcasing M-'s language development through the lens of a leaf assault.

First off, I'd appreciate it if you guys would keep the violence of this neglect-ridden incident hush-hush. That is, unless Child Protective Services would be willing to work out some kind of time-sharing arrangement in which they would take the kids away from us only on Friday or Saturday nights, and maybe a day or so during the week as needed.

As for M-'s seemingly accelerated development in certain areas, I have nothing to offer in the way of tips or tricks, as requested, except to say that you should apparently try to spend as much time on the computer as legally allowed; never plan anything voluntarily or arrive anywhere on time; only feed your children random, disturbing combinations of food ALWAYS outside of whatever society tells you should be a Meal Time; and be ready to fend off many, many hard plastic finger puppets, because my friends, There Will Be Poinkings.

15 comments:

LiteralDan said...

If anyone actually wants to read some kind of meandering list of impressive things M- can say or do, just say so, and if enough people do, I'm sure I can come up with one.

Otherwise I'll just go back to being quietly amazed without going on and on about it, and you can have absolute faith that I will not be offended if no one wants to, because I can't promise I would eagerly read similar lists about all your kids, either. C'est la vie, right?

Russ said...

As the proud Dad of a two and a half year old with the vocabulary of a 18 month old, I don't mind being awed by M's verbal exploits.

Seriously Mama said...

I need to know that toddlers can actually do more than drop to the ground in a fit of nastiness. Please awe us with M's talents.

Oh and if that CPS thing works out, please advise...

Christy said...

I've been trying to make that deal with Child Protective Services for years--to no avail (sorry to squash your hopes.)

Casey said...

Wow, I'm going to forward this to my husband so he knows that the more I blog, the smarter my kids will be. Thanks for the advice!

Miss Grace said...

I think some good advice for people wishing for advanced babies is a recommendation for good genes going into the thing.
It probably helps that your kids have smart parents.

ali said...

But...but...you love the meandering lists and convos I have with MY kids, right?

ali said...

But...but...you love the meandering lists and convos I have with MY kids, right?

Momo Fali said...

I do all those things you listed in that last paragraph!

miko564 said...

Universal Babysitting Care!!!

There it is. The key to Presidential success. You run on a platform of providing the entire nation with "on-demand" child-care, and you are President For Life.

I may write you in on Tuesday, just to get a jump.

(Oh sure, the old folks won't care, but you can give them...umm...Hard Candy and Kleenex for life, you win 'em back.)

Keely said...

Are you sure that shouldn't be, 'Revenge of the Leaves'? Because at first I thought you'd angered a hockey team.
Not to be the grammar nazi, I make words up all the time, I'm just easily confused.

Rikki said...

You should write a book about raising kids outside socially accepted norms.

I roll my eyes every time I read my PARENTS magazine because of all the go-hard wannabe-perfect parent posers that write in blabbing about schedules, charts and organic food (which they of course grow themselves). It may be good for some, but I think eating goldfish off the carpet has its merits as well!

Thanks for being such a great blog friend! ;)

Rikki

Rikki said...

Goldfish crackers...of course. Not the fish.

Mary said...

Somehow I don't think those parenting tips will get you on Oprah.

John said...
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