13 March 2009

Ingredients in my shampoo that may kill me

I like to read. I love to read when doing other things, like eating cereal, powdering my nose*, or showering.

Because of the difficulties in enjoying most other reading materials in the shower (come onnnnn, waterproof Kindle!), by this point I know pretty well the ingredient lists of the various shampoos, conditioners, and other such products with which my wife fills our shower.

The following is a list of the most strikingly named components, which I'm a bit concerned may eventually kill or at least severely incapacitate me, based on the fact that they each sound an awful lot like some fiendish poison a Bond villain might slip into my martini before pouring out the only antidote just to watch me die a painful, undignified, hysterical death:

1. Dimethicone

2. Quaternium-15**

3. Ammonium Chloride

4. Glycol Distearate

5. Cocamide Diethanolamine

Maybe I'm just thrown by the number of times the sound "die" appears in the names of most shampoo/conditioner ingredients. I can't help but read these lists like a threatening letter... a threatening letter that at least smells fantastic.



* I AM a lady, after all.

** This one just
has to be radioactive. They want to kill you after they squeeze you for dozens of dollars over the course of several blissfully ignorant years. Gluttonous mountebanks!

19 comments:

Middle Aged Woman said...

Gluttonous Mountebanks would be a great name for a band!

Another Suburban Mom said...

What doesn't kill you makes you smell better!

Natalie said...

i have always been a little fearful of the ingredients in my shampoo. after coming across the toothpaste with formaldehyde in it in turkey i am even more convinced i'm a goner sooner than later due to those devious health and beauty companies. at least i'll look and smell good in the meantime though!

Mary said...

Ignorance can be bliss.

Miss Grace said...

Switch to hippie shampoo. Slightly more decipherable labels.

How to Party with an Infant said...

They should add whiskey to it. That would be multi-tasking.

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

I have a whole new love for LiteralDan. I, too, have read the bottles of pretty much everything in my bathroom just because reading something is better than staring off into space.

We're on the hippy shampoo because of Blythe's corn/soy/egg allergies. While they do have ingredients that are less likely to kill you, they tend to cause some frizz.

whiterice said...

Wife had the whole family switch to the no poo - baking soda/vinegar thing. Quite surprised how well it works...and the vinegar smell goes away after about an hour ;) - and cheaper than hippie shampoo.

Goldfish said...

I like the kinds in multiple languages. My fluency in radioactive isotopes in French and Spanish is simply stunning. Or something like that.

MamaNeena said...

I'm beginning to think there is something wrong with you.

And I enjoy the wrongness.

Mrs. B. Roth said...

Blah blah blah, nothing witty to contribute, just discovered this buried in the middle of my Google Reader, trying to get tally marks for comments, blah blah blah.

Literal Dan is my favorite and my best.

Mama Kat said...

Gives new meaning to the old term, "killer looks" now doesn't it??

beth said...

Do you have a chemical reading dependency?

Mrs. B. Roth said...

Hey,I was reading my soap bottle today - Butyrospermum parkii. Butty-ro-spermum ... huh, huh. That sounds suspicious, no?

Your #1 ... METH.

Mrs. B. Roth said...

Also, the soap is "*age defying with VitaNiacin" and the footnote (in honor of all things Literal Dan) says *formerly Normal Skin Body Wash.

Motherloving marketing guys totally tricked me.

Again.

Mia Watts said...

Excellent. Another eBook reader. Have you seen www.PlasticLogic.com? Was saving for a Kindle (have Sony now) but am thinking Plastic Logic now.

Am running a contest for a free book on my blog. Ignore TMI commenter's posts. Apparently I inspire too much truth.

Rikki said...

I love to read my shampoo bottles but usually stop after the directions. I may have to delve further. If you think stuff in your shower has some weird sounding shit, you should see the ingredients on my hubby's Prep H.

He would die if he new I posted that.

Ah, well. He is blog-ignorant and will never know...

Wife and Mommy said...

I think I'd rather not know what's really in my shampoo!

I wanted to drop by to say thank you for your support in my Super Heavy Duty Post on Violence Unsilenced. I appreciate it greatly.

nonnasnonsense said...

i'm a constant reader too. i even read billboards and store signs going down the road. outloud. hubby just loves it :)

not.