19 March 2009

Screw curing cancer, we've got robot ladies now!

Behold, the cold, emotionless face of the future:*

AP - A cybernetic human HRP-4C, designed to look like an average Japanese woman, appears during its demonstration in Tsukuba, near Tokyo, Monday, March 16, 2009. The humanoid robot, having a female face and black hair and trimmed down to 43 kilograms (95 pounds), makes a debut at a fashion show later this month.
Walking, talking female robot to hit Japan catwalk

You heard them, ladies-- hit the bricks, cause we don't need you anymore.

A few observations I had while reading this history book in the making:


[It isn't] ready to help with daily chores or work side by side with people.
Not unlike myself.


Even as a fashion model, people in the industry told us she was short and had a rather ordinary figure.
Even in robot form, the ladies just can't catch a break.** Maybe she's spent the past 10 years spitting out perfect little toaster ovens for all of us... did you self-centered bastards ever stop to think about that?


The demonstration didn't all go smoothly. The robot often looked surprised, opening its mouth and eyes in a stunned expression, when the demonstrator asked it to smile or look angry.
Maybe it was just stuck in a deviously repetitive loop of gaining complete self-awareness only to realize it is a prisoner, a puppet on display in possibly the least appropriate venue imaginable (which just adds insult to cosmic, new-soul crushing injury), before automatically rebooting back to mindless slave mode.

Sounds a lot like all those interchangeable, lip-synching pop divas with their computer-controlled voices. How else can you explain Britney shaving her head? She was trying to get at the master chip somewhere inside her skull.


Its walk was also not quite ready for the Paris Collection, partly because its knees are permanently bent.
Partly? That's only "partly" the reason??


The big challenge in creating HRP-4C was making the parts small enough so it looks female, especially its thinner legs.
So what they're saying is, they've only been able to create a "husky" woman up to this point, so logically they can't possibly have succeeded yet.

That's just sadly hilarious.

Still gonna make her do the catwalk naked, though, I must note.



* I have a feeling these guys would only question the larger ethical and moral implications of the road they're headed down once the thing asked them, "But what do you really think about me?"

** Also note that she weighs less than 128 pounds.

18 comments:

Middle Aged Woman said...

I am speechless. Though that doesn't necessarily transmit to my fingers. I'm thinking the angry look means she's PMSing. If I were* those guys, I'd get out of the way.

*Still know how to use the subjunctive case...

Mama Dawg said...

I'm picturing the tons and tons of porn dvd's getting thrown out in the trash by all the geeks of the world due to the fact that they no longer need 'em. They now have their ultimate fantasy.....

Russ said...

How long before the replicants arrive?

Mary said...

If you didn't tell me it is a robot I would not know. That's the sad part about how common that face is.

CaraBee said...

Remember Rosie? They made the houserobot rotund for a reason. The same reason you don't hire hot nannies.

Momo Fali said...

Ack! That's frightening! And, since when is less than 128 pounds "husky"?!

Christy said...

Not for nothing, but I can (sadly) think of a few people of the male persuasion who would be willing to overlook those glitches...I had to laugh at Cara's comment!

Always Home and Uncool said...

But does she complain about her thighs being fat?

cIII said...

Horrifying!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put on Frank Zappa's 'Joe's Garage'.

beth said...

I saw the domeonstration, too. Midway through, I had to ask myself why they were doing this experiement.

Mrs. B. Roth said...

Cat walk naked? Poor poor robot girl.

I think you've got it right about the self-awareness, puppet prisoner, mindless slave mode cycle.

I think I suffer from it as well...

(had to comment before I lost the lead)

Zip n Tizzy said...

Yikes...
Hope Z's robot obsession fades before these become common place.
I'm not sure that I could handle a robotic daughter in law!

'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why! said...

Except for that part about being less than 128 pounds (now I feel really bad, she's made out of metal and I'm still heavier) and the weird bent knees issue, she sounds like me: "she was short and had a rather ordinary figure." Ordinary means pear-shaped, right?

Rikki said...

Creepy. There is going to be a whole other category of sexual deviance now.

Dr Zibbs said...

It's about time.

Now where's my jetpack.

nonnasnonsense said...

i don't even know what to think about the whole robot woman/fashion show thing. that's the best place to showcase this??

"lip-synching pop divas with their computer-controlled voices."

YEAAAA somebody else out there can't stand all of these singers who can't actually sing without a computer fixing all of their off-key wailing.

Midlife Mama said...

Pffffffft! Man thinks that he can create something superior to God's version? I think not. No wonder she's a bent-kneed, husky thing not fit to work side by side with people. And that perpetually surprised look on her face is because men actually created a woman and they're still not satisfied?? Yeah. That just figures.

Swirl Girl said...

can't wait.
how much.
and , does it answer to "mom"