10 October 2008

Keep friends close and let enemies pummel you

Okay, so maybe my 4-year-old son D- won't become an arch-villain after all, or at least not a good one. Observe this conversation from yesterday morning:

D-: Ow! Owww... Oww! Ow!!

Me: Hey!

M-: Sor-ree!!

Me: Why were you just standing there letting her hit you?*

D-: Because I was trying to tell her something!

Me: But why would you just keep standing there if she was hitting you?

D-: Because I was just waiting for her to stop hitting me, so I could tell her something... I wanted her to stop hitting me so we could talk.


Don't let him fool you... Gandhi, he ain't.



* Please note, Child Protective Services, that I asked with an inflection suggesting he should have moved out of the way and protested the treatment, not that he should have violently escalated the situation, at least under these circumstances. Considering the burgeoning fearsomeness (and penchant for eye-gouging) of his 20-month-old opponent, I would never urge him to step into that lion's den.

31 comments:

Middle Aged Woman said...

Arch-villain is still in the plans. He's just storing up fodder for when the superhero asks why he does the evil things he does.

Chris said...

The classic, "I don't know why she's hitting me" line.

I've used that many times. Usually works to perfection.

-Chris
Weather Moose

Russ said...

Did he ever get to tell M what was so important?

Brittany said...

He IS a little Ghandi...with super villain tendencies:)

Kat said...

Maybe he and LaLa can be friends after all. She is the recipient of many a younger sibling beat down as well.

Mama Dawg said...

Maybe he can just be the brains behind the brawn.

Miss Grace said...

That's adorable.

Always Home and Uncool said...

Sounds like our Iraq strategy.

People in the Sun said...

He wanted her to stop hitting him, so he could tell her she'd live to regret it.

ali said...

I love reading your comments! I really think you could get away with posting one sentence and your readers would write the post for you:) Or maybe that's your plan? Hmmm, who's the super duper villian now?

Kori said...

Oh God, I think I just wet my pants. And I don't know why it is so funny, but day-um.

beth said...

I think he'll make a great WIFE someday.

jenboglass said...

If he does decide to enter lead the life of a villain, just make sure you train him not to monologue this victim once he "gets them right where he wants them". That's where the villain trips up every time.

LiteralDan said...

Middle Aged Woman: Wow, way to think outside the box-- I like it. He needs some childhood pain to freeze.

Chris: Always like a Southern belle?

Russ: Nope, he didn't, and knowing him, he probably didn't even remember by that point, anyway.

Brittany: I'm not sure what kind of person that would create, but now I want to see someone skilled in drawing comics sketch it out for me.

Kat: Oh good. They can drown their sorrows in a few dozen rounds of milk. Not that namby-pamby 1% either-- the hard stuff.

Mama Dawg: I think his brains would irritate even the most brainless brawn, given his very repetitive thought patterns when it comes to mischief. But then, it worked pretty well for The Penguin, didn't it?

Miss Grace: Adorable and sad. Adorable and sad.

Always Home and Uncool: Hey-yoooooooooo!

People in the Sun: As usual, I like the way you think. He would absolutely do that in one of his more sinister moments. Yesterday he was much more puppy-like, at least during the day. He balanced things out by bedtime, though... I had been getting worried.

ali: Don't tempt me-- I've really been slacking off lately. In fact, I had planned a single question for you all as a post, but now I'll have to save it for a little while, so I don't look so suggestible.

Kori: If you think you wet them, there's an easy way to check. But if you're like me, you should probably just ignore it and live dangerously.

beth: Just like his old man!

jenboglass: Oh definitely, that's a core lesson of supervillain curriculum these days.

Maggie, Dammit said...

Awwwwwww!

'That Girl' said...

he's going to make such a good husband someday. sigh..

CaraBee said...

Isn't it classic arch-villain behavior to play the weak victim so you underestimate them?

Joe said...

WHAT?!?! No... he's still a super-villain. He's conditioning his body, that's all. DON'T TAKE THIS DREAM FROM ME!!

Tara R. said...

I gotta admire his tenacity.

Ringleader said...

Yeah- he was just waiting for her to finish so he could say, "You'll rue the day... RUE it I tell you!!!"

kel said...

He's a tough little guy. AND he's making his older sib. feel tough. I think you should rename him Ghandito.

Vodka Mom said...

He's ONE tough dude alright. One. tough. dude.

TerriRainer said...

In keeping with your villain theme, and the fact that you get a kick out of being mentioned, go see what I said about ya this time!

:) Terri

The Microblogologist said...

I don't think I ever let the younger siblings get away with stuff like that, I was so alpha!

Bee said...

Hmmmm, my hubs and I go to situations like that everyday. With each other. And we're all grownd up! :o)

LaskiGal said...

The disclaimer is downright perfect . . . so, really, were they LOVE PATS? Cause I used to PAT my siblings ALL THE TIME :)

Chen,Shun-Chuan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Momo Fali said...

Sigh. My kids have been fighting like crazy lately. Sometimes I wish they would hit each other. Maybe it would get them to stop bickering.

Zip n Tizzy said...

He's establishing who's the mature one in the family, and she's not having any of it!

mrsmouthy said...

It's trippy to read your blog because my son's nickname is "D," which no one understands because his real name is Vincenzo. Anyway, I keep thinking you're talking about him, especially in posts like this one!

LiteralDan said...

Zip n Tizzy: I think she'd gladly cede the maturity title for all the goodies and the power.

Come to think of it, maybe SHE'S the supervillain?