26 January 2008

Hippo with a hammer in hand

Only as a parent do you have to be on the lookout for hooligans cruising by on a hippo, squeaky hammer in hand, looking for victims innocently relaxing on the floor.

M-'s new chauffeur silently pushed her up alongside J-, whose eyes were closed at the time, and M- began lining up a hammer strike on J-'s temple. Where the kid learned this, I don't know, but had I not been able to grab the hammer in time, I don't think J- would have believed the Helpless Muscle Spasm defense M-'s little baby face has sold us so many times in the past.

Don't let the squeakiness fool you-- that is one solid hammer. And don't let the baby fat (and tiny little toes!!) fool you-- that kid's arm is hard as a coffin nail.

Now that these two are allied, J- and I will quickly be outmatched. Because you see, only children can get away with acting like children, as I've sadly discovered, and I know they will soon begin using this to their advantage.

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