28 January 2013

Things my 2-year-old son has recently licked

After a bit of a lull in such explorations, my 2-year-old son E- has lately rededicated himself to the cause of more fully probing this world of ours through every sensory-input-gathering device available to him.

This noble effort often results in him putting many things in or on his mouth-parts that lesser men would likely fail to even consider attempting.

Here's a selection of some of the most noteworthy just from the past week or so:

1. The floor, many times

2. The underside of the counter where the kids eat most often*

3. The bottom of his shoe

4. The bottom of a few other people's shoes

5. The strap of his car seat**

6. The rim of a garbage can I'd just bought from a thrift shop***

7. The bristles of our small hand broom that has seen a good ten years' use, in all conditions, in several states***

8. An old plastic fork he found in our garage

I shudder to think what else he'll think of tasting without us even realizing we needed to warn him not to.

That's the advantage of being a world-changer instead of a nay-sayer, I guess. Good luck, little buddy! You are a worthy opponent.

* Thus making it the grossest part of the counter.

** This one, like the first one, kind of goes without saying, but it's worth including anyway just because a kid's car seat is among the more germ-infested places in the world, including the toilet (which gets washed much more frequently), especially for a family that takes as many car trips as we do...

*** These two were in the same day, only about an hour apart!

17 January 2013

Classic quotes, Vol. 43

Here are a few more recent quotes from my 8-year-old son D-, my 5-year-old daughter M-, my 2-year-old son E-, and my wife J-:

E- (politely sticking only the tip of his finger in his nose): In!

J- (after pausing mid-sentence for about a full minute while talking to me from another room): Huh? Oh, I was eating ice cream and then I forgot I was talking...

M- (speaking of her newest baby doll, as a girl seemingly primed for monarchy): And this, is GOD's sister! That makes her a "princess".

D- (apparently falling under the spell of a commercial for a Hardee's Thickburger): I can SEE it's a "thick burger", you don't need to tell us!

J- (while driving down the highway, marveling at the car's ability to go under the speed limit for a short while): I'm going SLOWww.  (a Cadillac immediately rolls by on the left) See! Even old people in HATS are passing me!

E- (pulling himself forward in his car seat, after I'd pointed out a truck sculpture we were about to pass on the highway, meaning he had no way of seeing anything noteworthy yet): Whoaaaa, truck!! ...Wow..... windowww!!