08 December 2008

A conversation with J-: Manic Monday

To give you a sense of how a quite-anxious J- and beyond-tired I passed the time while waiting for her to be wheeled into surgery two weeks ago, please enjoy the following conversation I later recorded on a notecard I just found in my coat pocket:

Me: You know, you'll be sleeping the whole time-- I'm extremely jealous.

J- (immediately, giving me a blank look): I'd trade places with you in a second.

Me: I would, too ... (makes Movie Magic sounds while wiggling fingers between us)

J-: (just blinks in confusion and resumes fretting)

Me: We'd better make sure not to touch any potentially magic inanimate objects at the same time. If we do, though, we definitely can't lose it, because I do not want to have a period. Or teach special ed.

J-: Whyever not?

Me: They both involve a lot more involuntary bleeding and discomfort than I'm willing to accept.

Click to read past conversations I've posted with my wife J-, my 4-year-old son D-, and my nearly 2-year-old daughter M-.


Aliceson said...

I've noticed lately that men are increasingly concerned about menstruation, mainly "catching" it. I blame the pregnant man (Thomas Beatie).

Hope J is feeling better!

Anonymous said...

Ahhahahahahah...you are a riot! I can't say I know anything about teaching Special Ed, but it sounds like a lot of work to me, so...no thanks. But, yeah, you're right. You definitely don't want to have anything to do with having a period. I'd do just about anything to get out of it myself.

I too hope she's on the mend. :)

Jenny Grace said...

First: THAT IS NOT A PREGNANT MAN! If you have a uterus and a vagina and ovaries I don't care how many hormones you're taking to grow your beard or how you think of yourself genderwise. You are anatomically a woman.

Second: Have you ever looked at www.tard-blog.com/

TerriRainer said...

Maybe if things get too much for you, J will share her drugs (j/k)!

Hang in there and hope she's feeling better soon!

:) Terri

Weith Kick said...

Hope all goes well with your wife's surgery. And I hope you don't ever have to have a period.

Anonymous said...

Your wife must be a very special lady!

Irrational Dad said...

I'd be so pissed if I had to start sitting down to pee.