26 January 2009

A conversation with M-: The wipe that shakes the barley

This is the epitome of a conversation I have with M- at least once every day, proving she's definitely my kid:

Me: Hey, are you stinky?

M- (shiftily): No.

Me: I beg to differ. (as supportively as I can muster) Okay, we have to change your diaper now. (while beginning to change her) You have to tell somebody when you have to go to the bathroom, rememb...

M- (eagerly, in a Notifying Tone): I have to go to the bathroom!

Me: Yes, I know you did, that's why I'm here changing you-- you have to tell somebody BEFORE you go in your pants, so we can help you get to the toilet. And if you go in your pants by accident, you need to tell somebody that, too, so we can help get you cleaned up, right?

M- (same tone as above): I made poop in my diaper!

Me (with one final wipe): Yes. Just like that. Thanks.

You may also enjoy the other (4 YO son) D- conversations, (2YO daughter) M- conversations, and (wife) J- conversations.


Kat said...

I am glad someone else is having the "Could you please tell me before the fact" problem.

Vodka Mom said...

now THOSE things I don't miss so much....

unmitigated me said...

apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

Chris M. said...

I said, "I made poop in my pants" in my office one day.

It didn't come off nearly as cute as her.

Weather Moose

Russ said...

What, she still has a diaper on? We do that with Mr. B in "big boy pants". It's much more fun that way, trust me.

Anonymous said...

So she's like you in what way? You fail to announce when you have to use the bathroom?

Jenny Grace said...

I'm glad Gabriel is done with this phase.

Swirl Girl said...

Trust me, once you get them to make 'the' announcement, nothing is private..ever...anywhere.

Anonymous said...

How often do you announce when you have to potty? The chick's just keeping her private moments to herself. It will be much cuter when she can wipe her own ass.

Allison said...

Soon enough she'll be reading magazines on the toilet and you'll have to fight to get her off. Oh wait. Do only boys do that?

nonna said...

guess i shouldn't mind g-kid's announcements of "i gotta go peee!!!" so much even though he needs no help any more. lol better that than your situation

I am a Tornado ~ proven fact! said...

trade ya?

My two girlys are killing me - wait till she is a bit older - when she will argue with you ABOUT everything. Just to argue. EVERYTHING.

I lose a lot - I give up.

LiteralDan said...

Kat: She's been dragging the process out for awhile, (though in all fairness, most of the fault is likely mine), and before the last few fantastic days, this has definitely been a problem.

"I have to go to the bathroom" is not what you say when I discover that you've peed on the floor, you know?

Vodka Mom: Whyever not? These moments build character, right?

Middle Aged Woman: But in the case of "road apples", I certainly hope they do. Assuming I'm the tree.

Chris M.: Nobody ever likes when I drop that line, either. But it doesn't stop me from trying again and again!

Russ: She's flirted with pull-ups and underwear at various times, up until the past couple days when I've had her wandering around here in underwear. My watchful eye is the only pants she's allowed to wear, until I can trust her more.

No sense letting her get too comfortable, or making it too hard to get to the toilet.

Mary: She's like me in that she takes me at my word when I say that at times like those, she needs to say, "I have to go to the bathroom." She then looks at me and repeats it, like she's checking an item off a list and moving on. I have to be very specific with verb tenses and chronological instructions.

Miss Grace: I'm glad D- is, too-- I have renewed appreciation for his big-boy-ness. I wonder if he can tell? I try to balance the attention, but M- definitely gets the tiebreaker when she announces she has to poop right now, needs me to go with her, and has "dee-uh-ree-ah".

It's almost always a false alarm, so I think she's onto it even if she isn't.

I keep feeling like I should be able to just rub the two of them together and potty train M- by osmosis.

Swirl Girl: I would trust you implicitly even if I hadn't already found this one out the hard way. The other thing I've learned is that a girl will have cause to make this announcement about 8 times more frequently.

MamaNeena: I announce it more frequently than you might imagine, actually. It's always better than letting people come find you, because that's always when they suddenly need something from you desperately.

It's basically a speak-now-or-forever-hold-your-peace kind of thing, I think.

Allison: Boys and the coolest girls. Why not be practical?

nonna: And worst of all the kid who's way too old to need help demanding wiping services. I would probably not make a good nanny.

I am a Tornado ~ proven fact!: I'm sure you've got me beat, but this lil spark plug's already got that one down. You can hardly ever trick her even when she's in a seemingly blinded "No!" mode.

She gets really (hilariously) mad, by the way, when she's in one of those modes and I ask her to say "No" and she's forced to do so in answering. You might ask why I still do it, but at that point, what's one more screech?