28 April 2011

Things that amuse me, Vol. 7

Here are some of the happenings and such that have been amusing me lately:

1. Only a baby can sit there crying after punching himself in the face and still reel in the sympathy of the whole room.

2. There's nothing like an earthquake, string of tsunamis, resultant fires, and impending nuclear meltdowns to make a 7-year-old ask me why I don't turn off the music and turn on the news on the way to school.

3. I recently wiped out several dozen flies flirting and sunning themselves on the east side of my house. They died as they lived-- trying to make thousands of babies and irritating the hell out of me.

4. A baby is the kind of person whom you can't trust to not urinate on you during any given 1-minute period of the day.

5. Unlike his do-gooder cousin the Easter Bunny, the equally famous After-Easter Bunny has this week been employing his Magical Rabbit powers of whisking himself around to the baskets of all good little boys and girls of the world to remove just enough candy each time that they'll never notice.


Irish Gumbo said...

That crying after punching myself in the face thing doesn't work so well as an adult. Try that in a business meeting ONCE, and man, people just hate on you...

unmitigated me said...

What about poking myself in the eye as I do my hair in the morning? Any sympathy there? No? Thought so.be terrified for no reason.

So, is D- worried about what might happen here? That's exactly the kind of anxiety my son would hold onto at that age, and

Mary said...

You have to teach your children to eat all the candy and quickly to defeat the after easter bunny. Or they may figure that out on their own in a year.
Hey, toughen that baby up.

Mrs. B. Roth said...

My after easter bunny's work is nearly done.

Irrational Dad said...

We FORGOT to do an Easter basket! As such, I am forbidden from eating the candy until we do make an Easter basket. The logic (wife's, of course) is that he's too young to realize it's not Easter anymore.