12 August 2008

In two places at once

That's right, I'm both here and there, guest posting today at Heavy on the Caffeine about toilet training and spousal communication. The author of that blog, Christy, has been a loyal reader for most of the time I've been blogging, so providing a guest post is certainly the least I could do to help her enjoy a well-earned vacation this week.

As a bit of a teaser, I promise you that the three people involved in the post come out seeming either stupid or undignified, so you know you'll have a good time laughing at us.

What are you doing still reading here? Go over there now!*

* Please make sure you do come back, at least occasionally, because you know my world would crumble without the praise and attention of at least one little group of people who aren't forced to put up with me, right? Okay, now you tell me, "Buck up, Sport," and reassure me you'll always be back... aaaaand Action!


Mama Dawg said...

1. I'm here.
2. "Buck up, Sport"
3. I'll always read your blog.

Now, where's my $50 bucks?

Leslie said...

We'll be here, Dan. No doubt about it.

Kat said...

I love your blog, so I doubt you can get rid of me :)

LiteralDan said...

Wow, you guys are really convincing. Or maybe it was me who was too convincing.

Maybe we should all bleach our teeth, move to LA, and try to make it in soap operas. Who's with me??

Anonymous said...

Buck up sport and stay where you are! I can't keep bleaching my teeth to keep up with the freshly bleached teeth pouring in from out of town. I'm already plum out of enamel, and I'm only 21!

Kat said...

I am so there with you :) *is the official literaldan yes person*

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't it be nice to get paid for every asterisk you use? Footnotes abound here and yesterday.

LiteralDan said...

threeboys1mommy: Yeah, but I heard enamel makes you fat, so you totally don't need it. And that's just one reason why bulimia is sooo much better than anorexia, you knoooowww?

Kat: Wow, cool, I always wanted a Yes Person! Now that I'm drunk with power, I want to try something:

I think you should all give me $5-- let's put it to a vote, wherein I only need one additional Yes vote to make it mandatory.

For those who are wondering, yes, proxy payments are allowed-- I'm not discriminating. I hear Google has some friends willing to share their money a quarter or so at a time, but I can't confirm that.

Okay, Kat, let's start the voting at random with you. On the matter of everyone giving Dan five bucks cause he wants it, how do you vote?

LiteralDan said...

Mary: Indeed, I am footnote-rich* and always seek to share the wealth, especially in these troubled economic times.

* That better not be some kind of insult from the footnotely challenged.

Kat said...


*but not my money...hahahaha!

Jenny Grace said...

I'm available for the soap opera, but can I spend the first 3 months in a coma? I need to catch up on my beauty sleep.

LiteralDan said...

Kat: Hey, that works for me-- consider the $5 saved your payment for services rendered.

Any chance I can get you on speakerphone when necessary to help me win arguments? I think my wife, for instance, would see reason more easily if she could hear a woman telling her I'm absolutely right.

Miss Grace: Damn, I should have called coma! I guess I'll take good and evil twins. Sure it's twice the work, but it's also twice the job security and way more fun in general. Plus I've already got the eyepatch to play the evil one, so the prop department would save like $1.40 right there-- I'm a shoo-in for the job!

Momo Fali said...

"Buck up" is one of my favorite things to say to my kids, so I'd be happy to oblige.

Jenny Grace said...

Okay but you know if you play good/evil twins you've locked yourself in to at least one of them dying in a fire AND the possibility of paternity mixups down the line, right?

I'm comfortable with my coma choices, especially if I wake up with amnesia and the evil twin convinces me that he's the good twin because I no longer know fact from fiction.

Unknown said...

Oh, I was just about to head over to Christy's place and now I see you are posting there. Great! Two for the price of one. And of course I will be back - and you know this MAN! (you did see Friday right? I hope you get the reference).

Unknown said...

So that was YOU on Christy's blog...Thanks for stopping by...and I wouldn't call my house fancy, by any streatch of the imagination...lol.

Anonymous said...

even after heavy drugs and surgery I'm still here! Don't worry, LD. There will always be readers around to stroke your ego!

sarah said...

Buck up sport, I will always be back!

Feel better?

And for the record, enamel does make you fat....I prefer actual bleach, and you can like use the left over on your hair....ohhhhh my gah!

Kevin McKeever said...

You know I always come here for the poo jokes.

LiteralDan said...

Momo Fali: I enjoy a good "buck up" from time to time, myself. Also the occasional, "Turn that frown upside down."

Miss Grace: Dude, those are awesome things to be locked into! I would have that Daytime Emmy I'm after locked up right along with those golden storylines!

And there is no other way to wake up from a coma on a soap opera than with amnesia, so I think you have your path all set, too.

Mekhismom: Just brings a tear to my eye... (sniffle)

I like to have a little two-for-one sale whenever my blog-post stock starts threatening to get a little stale. I've also found a nice revenue recovery center in my Crushed and Dented Post shelf.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life: That was me-- I think I found your blog through hers, in fact. I would definitely call your house fancy, and clean, too-- ours still looks like we just moved in, though it's been a year. I'm hoping to win a free maid/slave from a blog contest or something, to rescue us from ourselves.

MamaNeena: My posts seem to be much more enjoyable whenever the readers are high and vulnerable.

Sarah: I do. Even though you're still holding the dog-eared script I handed you, it still works. You know what's crazy, though? I heard some doctor going on and on in a 3am infomercial about an all-enamel diet that, like, tricks your body into burning fat. You can lose, like, 10 pounds a minute or something. You should toooooootally try it because, and I tell you this as a casual acquaintance, I think you might totally hit like triple digits before sophomore year.

Always Home and Uncool: And I live to dish out the poo jokes as fast as said poo is flung at me. Or by me.