Ladies and gentlemen, in the interest of all our safety, I feel compelled to inform you that I have reason to believe my 4-year-old son may in fact be the next in a long line of supervillains. And not necessarily one of the campy kinds.
Just look at this ferocious face he was making in the picture for this recent post:
If I hadn't otherwise suspected his secret identity, I'm pretty sure my suspicions would have been raised by his frequent claims to being an evil figure, whether specific or not. He has been Captain Hook (a LOT) and "black Spider-Man (I've never been clear where he found out about Venom), but generally he just declares himself (in a comically deep and menacing voice) to be "a BAAAAAD guyyyyy!" or sometimes "a BAD [insert random but dramatic action word] guy!"
While he also does the same thing with much more mundane figures, such as "I'm a crane guy!", "I'm a cooker guy!", or "I'm a garbage man!", he definitely tends more towards the dastardly side.
On top of that, at many a breakfast time, when asked what he'd like to eat, he seems to begin wildly threatening people with something called "pain-cakes".
Finally, to settle any remaining dispute, I recently found this behind the couch, and to quote Dave Barry, I swear I am not making this up:
I'm assuming the green rope, at least, is made largely of Kryptonite.Poor bastard never stood a chance.
31 comments:
He must have been meeting the Barbie I found in my refrigerator. She was naked and stuffed in the salad drawer.
I'm pretty sure I had a pain-cake for my last birthday.
Maybe the Superman in bondage needs to be added to the list of reasons your son may be homosexual. Just sayin'.
How is it that nobody has been able to stop Superman and then a four year old comes along and does the trick?
Impressive work. Now can you send him off to fight the economic crisis?
Is he available for hire? I have these inlaws...
I sure hope you show that kid respect.
What is up with these 4 year olds? Mine puts football in the freezer but then again, I dropped a spaghetti sauce jar on his head when he was a baby. What's YOUR excuse?!
Keep him away from my daughter. She likes to keep her kitten (live, real kitten) in the microwave of her play kitchen, in a desk drawer, in her garbage can with a sealed lid....
That last picture killed me! :P
I seems our kids are destined to be mortal enemies. LaLa has been claiming that she is a superhero lately. I need to find that picture of her in costume.
He will make a most excellent super villain. Maybe he can even get into a Disney film and make you (I mean him) tons and tons of money.
My daughter used to call herself a cooker-girl.
You know, I can't seem to find a single thing wrong with having a guy tied up; am I missing something?
Just dawn a cape and join in the fun Dan... you know you want to.
No clever comment. I just love this post.
Just so long as he drops some money from the bank he is robbing by my house.
At least he seems to have a career in mind. That's pretty damned good at that age.
-Chris
Weather Moose
superman tied up made me laugh out loud then middle aged woman totally cracked me up with the "why your son may be homosexual" comment. laughing hard!
Do superheroes run in your family?
Dang, the only superhero my kid pretends to be is Captain Underpants!
Poor superman! hey, there has to be bad guys, or we'd never have superheroes.
We used to be superman fans, but now it's all Indiana Jones, all the time (I highly recommend Lego Video games BTW). Now to prepare some chilled monkey brains for my Thugees.
My prayers have been answered!! I've been secretly hoping that Tyler would be a superhero when he gets older. The problem is that there can't be a superhero without an arch nemesis supervillian. Since your boy is filling that role, I can still have hope! THANKS DAN!
I would have loved to have been there when you found that that Superman behind your couch, and then heard the thoughts, or actual words that came out! I am sure the green one is Kryptonite! Adn the red one is too, it is just dyed so he could sneak it on him!
Pain-cakes! That boy is an animal! Does he have a superhero costume on underneath his pjs?
doesn't he know you don't tug on superman's cape? does he also spit into the wind?
Good thing I moved 350 miles away, who knows what he is capable of!
I have a four year old who sounds very similar to yours!
Thanks, LiteralDan, for your meaningful and supportive comment on The Jason Show today!
Duuuudeee....seriously? That is one of the funniest pictures I have seen. I'm not gonna lie. You better watch out for this kid.
Thanks for the laugh. I've always wanted to see superman tied up and with his pants pulled down.
Dear L.D.,
I am sure Mrs. Reeves wouldn't think this is very funny.
I thought it was funny and that is the important thing here.
Fondly, C.C.
Wow! That was quite villianly clever of him to wrap superman in a Kryponite rope! Even superman's comic villians never thought that far ahead. If you must have a super villian as a son, at least he is not dumb like that dirty bubble character in spongebob. :)
Now that is both cute and hilarious!
Ha! I'm sure he already figured out that girls like bad boys! Evil genius.
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