28 February 2010

Amusing searches, Vol. 6

Here are more of the most amusing searches that brought people here during these past few months that have been so devoid of new posts.

(All search strings are reprinted exactly as they were entered, and the search text links to the post at which the visitor arrived.)

is it ok that daughter buys annivarsary card on behalf of husband - Is it okay for you that they do this? Of course. Is it okay for the two of them? ...Ask her. Seems kinda sad to me, but man, Hallmark must love her commitment to their products even to the point of this nonsense. (Also, for my own future reference, does she get a good deal on these "annivarsary" cards from the Irregular bin at the dollar store?)

curing a belligerent horse (Jonesboro, AR) - Poetic concerns aside as to whether a supposedly belligerent horse needs "curing", I'll say that while I appreciate the particular struggles of horse trainers, I'm not sure why one in search of an answer to a professional question would stop to click on a search result titled "Screw curing cancer, we've got robot ladies now!"

do not babysit (Virginia Beach, VA) - Okay, okay, I can take the hint... Clearly you've just perused my selection of bad parenting, lack of shame, screaming, self-righteousness, and sarcasm posts.

literaldan.blogspot.com screw-curing-cancer-weve-got-robot - Since this (and many, many other searches, for some reason) came from Mountain View, California, I think it's fair to assume that the top brass of Google is intensely interested in how exactly I've managed to take over the Internet without actually making any money or getting on TV yet. That, or they're thinking of offering me a job in their vaunted Nitpicking, Irreverence, or Procrastination departments.

barefoot inebriated woman (Warren, OH) - If that's what you're looking for, then allow me to point you, happily, over to your fellow Ohioan. You won't be sorry!

amusing a 3 year old (Bristol, VT) - I'll give you a hint-- it must involve rhyming wordplay and, more importantly, bodily functions in some way. Preferably graphically so. Just picture the humor of a 30-year-old man, and then aim a little higher brow.


Kevin McKeever said...

Obviously you are writing subliminally for perverts and deviants. We appreciate it.

sarah said...

I love your blog…so wanted to pass along the beautiful blog award….you can pick it up (if you choose to…) at: http://nodontandstop.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-was-da-weener-and-now-youre-da-weener.html

Okay... so now its up to you... if you accept this award... Visit the link above to post it on your blog… then tell us 7 things about you that we wouldn't know... and choose 10 bloggers you would like to pass this award onto... make sure to contact them to let them know you have chosen them... Tada… that's it… sarah :)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mrs4444 said...

OMG, Dan~Your face is on the Facebook page today! Scroll down near the bottom...


You're famous!

Unknown said...

Ha; I just did that on mine. The most common terms were "Cockchafer" and "What are balls?" Closely following were "All the dirty words" and "pink puke." I wonder about my readership.