Pony Express Posts: Belated Announcement

Well, I suppose there's no point continuing to wait for a substantial, creative manner of announcement to float down from the heavens on a golden harp-shaped hovercraft, now that it's been a couple months.

My procrastination has been holding up a backlog of what's been passing for content here the past couple years (since we bought the house), as a lot of what I've thought of saying the past 6 months or so was in some way tied to this news... news which I had been trying not to just throw out there unceremoniously, much in the way I'm about to do right now:

We had yet another baby last month.  

See? That's her right up there, as proof. The second coming of M-, hereby to be known as A-. So we've completed our set of two boys and two girls.*

Yes, that's right, according to most people's reactions, as well as a quick flip through a generation's worth of census data, we are now the modern equivalent of that 8-kid family** people used to marvel at during the Baby Boom and Generation X's heyday.

Do we feel more complete now, you wonder? Have we started getting a human amount of sleep yet? Have we worked out some kind of daily routine now that school has started for J- and the kids? Have we any hope of shaking off the influence of our hypnotizing alien captors soon? Take a glance at the posting history here and then pencil in your guesses before I stop by with the answer key as soon as I can.

In the meantime, with this official notice out here, I should be able to at least get back to posting more lists of tidbits and such a few times a month, with more promises of actual paragraphs and thoughts and time and craft someday, once again.

It's the thought that counts, right?

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* This means I'll have to update the banner again, so soon*** after the last time.

** All I can say is those people are lucky they were able to delude themselves into thinking that small children wedged tightly enough across the bench seat of a station wagon would provide their own restraint in case of a high-speed accident. Otherwise, the country would either be a fraction of its present size today, or it would have been swarmed throughout the '60s with extended vans, RVs, and "Parental Sanity trailers" featuring a half-dozen kids suspended along the walls with heavy-duty straps.

*** Obviously a relative term, given that some of the pictures were several years out of date when I replaced them a couple months ago...

Oedipus had it far too simple

Wow, some things are just universal and they astound me. The other day, J- was laying on the couch near D-, holding M- over her head, saying, "One day, you guys are going to find somebody to marry who loves you so much and is so nice and takes care of you."

D- immediately responded, "Probably Katie, I'll marry-- she's nice." So apparently he's got his life pretty well set out for himself, when you consider that in addition to his now-scheduled marriage to his aunt, he's already identified approximately 400 hundred movies he'll watch, many activities he'll perform, and various things he'll learn "when [he] turn[s] 10".

The funny thing is, a well-worn story in our family goes as follows: when both of my brothers (at about 4 and 3) simultaneously claimed the right to marry my mom when they grew up before being informed she was already spoken for, my oldest brother then declared he'd instead marry our cousin, who apparently had the next longest tenure as Girl We Know. My other brother thought for a second and then moved on down the logical line of succession in his mind, and called dibs on her younger brother.

I'm sure somewhere deep down, despite all his happiness in subsequent relationships (with women, of course), my brother must have been just a little bit heartbroken when his backup fell through and my cousin got married, and then somewhat sadly resigned when they had a baby.

Like a horse and carriage

Well, there's just a boring post for you all today, because all I can think about is that my oldest brother is getting married in a few hours.

It's crazy, and it makes me vividly remember little J- and I getting married almost 5 years ago. I don't envy them all the preparation and last-minute panicking, or dealing with the inevitable organizational breakdowns and such.

Mostly it's crazy because my brother is Getting Married.

I mean, what's with that? How dare things change in the world without my express written consent?!

Seriously, though, I'm really happy for him and I think it's cool. I'm also glad I like my new sister (how odd is that to say?), or I think it would probably make things awkward. The wedding's going to be fun and memorable, and then we can all move on to finding my other brother a nice girl to settle down with, before he dies an old maid unloved and alone. Just kidding, buddy!

The cast of characters

Me: As the nickname indicates, I can be overly precise and dogmatic, but in the interests of full disclosure, this is generally just an effort to amuse myself. I'm in my 20s, and my English degree, coupled with my Herculean drive to deftly conquer every mountain life sets in my way, has of course brought me wealth and fame beyond your wildest dreams.

I say 'your' dreams because I, of course, don't dream. If something begins to occur to me while I sleep, I simply wake up and make another million off it before retiring again to rest in the blackened, dreamless sleep of someone who once again has nothing left to achieve in this world.

I've made and lost just some of my fortunes thus far while working in the high-stakes fields of technical writering, movie-theater-supervisoring, and temporary employmenting. I recently moved into the profession of making those privileged Caucasian-American babies everyone loves so much these days ("this millennium's Beanie Babies!!!"), and I am merely waiting for that investment to mature in spades.

J-: My long-suffering wife and a sainted special education teacher. She has put up with my shenanigans for over 10 years so far (I tricked her into marrying me less than halfway through, before she could realize what she was getting into). When asked how long she plans to continue, she makes that face she makes. You know the one.

D-: My 6-year-old son, who (as an impartial observer) is abnormally intelligent and insightful for his age, which mostly just brings him trouble. Also, we have a very similar sense of humor, which says a lot about both of us, I think. You'll hear enough about him and his sister later that I don't need to go on at length here.

M-: My 3-year-old daughter, who may or may not be part Eskimo, as she spent most of her free time during her first year assigning 70 different meanings to a blood-curdling scream. She has since settled down and began blowing us all away by walking, toilet-ing, and talking like a 5-year-old before age 2. Except when she really wants something she can't have, she is professionally adorable and pleasant.

My Parents: The nicest parents in the world. Seriously. If you think your parents are nice, you may in fact be wrong. J- and I end up spending a lot of time over at their house (my parents' house, that is, not your parents'), like "Everybody Loves Raymond" in reverse.

My Sister: A fun and loving aunt (pronounced "ant"). Just don't call her Aunt, cause that might suggest she's older than her 20s. She's a vegetarian, and generally very Healthy and Active, which can only be a good counterweighting influence on the kids.

I'm sure others will appear, but these are likely to be the most frequently mentioned people.