22 March 2008

Do not fill above this line!

Please tread on meSeven things that spring to mind whenever I see these dumpsters with American flags painted on them:

1. That's right-- "Don't tread on me" is for all you old people! My generation boldly declares that we'll accept a substantial amount of your oppressive garbage, but only up to a preset point. And even then, it's really only a guideline. (Proud salute, and a single tear.)

2. Just burning the flag is for pussies! Why set it on fire when you can instead fill it with the biggest, most filthy pieces of trash around, and then steadily chip away at it until it's obliterated into a mere mud-stained memory?

3. This is a Bush Republican's idea of true patriotism.

4. " 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore' ...and I will imprison them in a rancid dumpster for the low, low price of $5,000 a month!"

5. Does it count for proper disposal of an old flag to throw it in this thing, instead of ceremonially burning it?

6. What's next? American flag g-strings, handkerchiefs, tampons, and adult diapers? "For only the most discerning and incontinent of patriots."

7. The United States Flag Code should be more widely publicized, and it should absolutely be enforced for corporations.


SM said...

Amen, Brother, Amen. I didn't even know those existed! There's material there galore.

LiteralDan said...

The real question, though, is what kind of "material" is it?

Can I get a rimshot? Where's my applause sign?