01 September 2008

Ay, there's the rub

I haven't been sleeping much lately, due to the many balls (work, the kids, writing, blogging*, relaxing) I've put in the air for myself to juggle, so I figure I'm about at the end of some kind of cycle wherein I'll have to crash for hours upon hours for a few days. The signs of this are numerous, such as falling asleep sitting up, feeling like I have cotton behind my eyes, and wishing my wife a good day at work before heading off to bed.

But a pretty definitive sign came just yesterday, which was a day I got to sleep in after getting to bed by 3, making a nice one-two punch in my favor. I woke up a little bit at 8 when J- got up with M-, then I immediately returned to a state somewhere just above death** for the next few hours.

Around 11:30, J- burst into the room in a rush to grab some clothes while getting the kids ready. Given that 1) she'd been up for several hours, 2) it was pretty bright in our room, and 3) she had a lot of things going on all at once, I think tip-toeing did not rate much consideration at the time. So naturally my brain cast off on its reluctant ascent to the surface, but just before it could get there, my body must have jumped the gun by moving in some significant way. I suspect this because J- began pelting me with a lot of information-laden slings and arrows all at once... something about my parents being on their way over to take the kids down to my aunt and uncle's house for the afternoon, and her needing to look more presentable in order to hand them off, along with various other tangential details.

I feel a need to jump in here to state that because the kids are so effective at waking everyone up when their days begin, and because J- and I take turns at getting up with them, neither of us is usually technically asleep, or at least not very deeply, in the late morning when we get to "sleep in". I think she was expecting to find me lounging there in denial, or even reading a book. But of course I wasn't even capable of dreaming of reading a book. I was probably dreaming of sleeping and dreaming some more, in an infinite chain of simple pleasure.

So since as you know, my body was in no state to let go of sleep lightly, and since I knew nothing of these impromptu plans and was still struggling to emerge from my typically-millisecond-long trip through that zone in which I forget that I even have kids, I think it's understandable that I was a touch overwhelmed even after a full minute of coming-to, much like a character in one of those many body-switching movies Hollywood has churned out.***

Like any practical person, as I tried to make sense of this unfamiliar data stream, I began at the beginning. I did my best to open my eyes and, before gaining focus on what would be her incredulous face, I asked for the basic piece of information I lacked for gaining a foothold on everything else:

"What day is it?"

* The blogging ball is shining nicely, though, as usual-- this post marks my 200th.

** That state somewhere just above death? Possibly North Dakota. Stay tuned tomorrow for an elaboration of this theory.

*** E.g. The Family Man, Freaky Friday, Mr. Destiny... the list goes on and on.


unmitigated me said...

It is at this point that Husband realizes exactly I am. He will grin a painful grin and say, "Yeah. Thanks, honey. Go back to sleep."

Anonymous said...

200th blog post, woot-woot!

I hit rock bottom, sleep deprivation-wise, recently, so I went to bed at 7pm. And actually SLEPT. Because, who can even DO that unless they're in "North Dakota"?

LiteralDan said...

Middle Aged Woman: I got no such sympathy. Eventually I got all the info I needed and came to my senses.

Andrea's Sweet Life: Thanks for the woots! I need to force myself to just leave stuff undone and go to bed with J- in the evening, like I'm 75 years old. I'm sure it would do me good. Though I'd probably wake up starving for a North Dakota-style... whatever food they're known for.

Trooper Thorn said...

Considering you know about all the body switching movies (as do I), I'm surprised your fist instinct was not to reach down and make sure you still had your 'junk'.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the 200! It is nice to know there is a blogger out there who began around the same time I did.

As for the sleep, I'll give you the same advice I give my hubby when he complains of the same thing: Suck it! You'll sleep when you're dead!

He does not seem to like my advice very much, but maybe you'll appreciate it.

Lola said...

Ahh, sleep, my long-lost lover. I'm so sleep-deprived lately that I can't even see straight.

Congrats on the 200. Now, get to sleep!

Kat said...

We have been having this problem at my house lately with my husband. He is working what in the civilian world is called 3rd shift (here it is called mids) 11pm-7am. Between him being sick, having kids, work, and still making time for everything else he is just exhausted and in a pretty bad mood. Things should slow down pretty soon because I think they are changing his shift, but until then I am just holding on for dear life.

Anonymous said...

cotton behind the eyes. THANK YOU! I was feeling like that all afternoon today, and you just put the perfect words to it. : ) yawn.

Mama Dawg said...

You and Trooper should totally get together and do a screeplay based in North Dakota where when you wake up, you immediately check to make sure you still have your junk and THEN you realize that...

...well, I'm not a writer. You guys can take it from there.

You're welcome.

Kori said...

200th post=great. "What day is it?" You are probably lucky to still be alive.

LiteralDan said...

Trooper Thorn: You're right-- I wasn't thinking clearly enough to use that kind of good sense. Though for all I remember, I may have been checking already when I came to.

Mamaneena: You are incorrect, ma'am. I'm with your husband on this one.

Lola: You should try posting an ad on Craigslist to see if you guys can reunite. I have to warn you, though, your ex and I have been spending hours at a time together in my bed.

Kat: That's what I'll tell my wife-- I'm just working mids! I am guessing changing from a shift like that is just as hard as changing to it. Good luck to all of you in adjusting to that!

├╝berburber: Glad I could be of service, and I hope you've gotten some good sleep since!

Mama Dawg: I don't think I want to take it from there, thanks... it's almost as bad as your "Who would you rather do" question about Danny Devito and Howard Stern.

Kori: I think that's probably the case on a day-to-day basis, for one reason or another.