15 September 2008

6 uninteresting things about me

Well, folks, I was recently tagged by (the highly recommended) Kat* at 3 Bedroom Bungalow to Let in Crazytown, along with the reliably hilarious Middle Aged Woman at Unmitigated, with the 6 Uninteresting Things About You meme.**

In the spirit of doing whatever the hell we want to all the time, and since we were both hard-pressed to identify anything about ourselves that isn't fascinating***, we decided to swap responsibilities and write each other's lists. You can see the list I wrote about her here.

Hint: Some or all of these items may be partially or entirely fictionalized.

Disclaimer: The preceding may have been an understatement. Also, this disclaimer is untrue.

Now that we've weeded out those pesky blog-scanning spam robots via the ol' reliable circuit-frying logic trap, we can move on to these 6 Uninteresting Things About Me, according to very loyal reader Middle Aged Woman:

Rainbow toe socks 1. LiteralDan cannot sleep unless he is wearing toe socks. Something to do with not wanting the webbing to grow back.

Hateful sponges 2. LiteralDan has a dread fear of wet sponges. Really. The last time he tried to wash his car in the driveway, J- found him quivering and whispering, "The squishy...the squishy..."

Coffee cups 3. LiteralDan adds pepper to his coffee. He feels it gives him a jump on those namby-pamby types who need sugar to swill the caffeinated-goodness in a cup.

4. LiteralDan absolutely cannot visit a museum without leaving a contribution in the form of what he calls "upgrades" to some of the artwork. Check this out from his recent visit to the Louvre:
I think she looks more approachable this way

LiteralDan's three imaginary children 5. LiteralDan has been lying about his children's names all this time. They are not D- and M-. They are actually R- and K-. And you thought you knew the guy.

6. Did I mention there were actually three of them?

* And I was much less recently tagged for this same meme by SherE1 at His, Mine, Ours. I never got around to publishing something for it, but I fully intended to. This is what I console myself with when I attempt to sleep at night.

** It seems to me that this particular meme was cruelly designed with me in mind, not only because it's a tremendous challenge, but because going beyond 5 items without continuing on to 10 really gets under my skin.

*** If I actually had as many as SIX uninteresting things about myself, how would I be able to sustain this incredibly scintillating blog for the entertainment of many dozens of daily readers? And if I thought anything
about me was uninteresting, would I be able to keep talking about myself this far into a footnotes section, time and time again? I rest my case, and apology accepted.


unmitigated me said...

Thank God you provided the footnotes. It would have looked naked without them! Say hello to R- and K-, the little dears.

Brittany said...

I am not at all surprised about the toe socks.

Kevin McKeever said...


Goldfish said...

Man, I was working on something for the same meme. Now I feel woefully inadequate.... Oh, and try Tabasco in your coffee for a real pick-me-up. Clears out the cobwebs real quick-like.

Kat said...

Toe socks? Actually I think I had that pair of rainbow ones at one point in time. Now that I have ashamed myself, I am gonna go back to my blog and hide.

PS. Ya'll did such a good job with this MeMe! Thanks for making it special!

Keely said...

I'm awfully glad I'm just as socially ostracized in the blogoverse as in real life, because I haven't had to do this yet.
Besides, now if I post about my toe socks I'll look like I was ripping you off and Copyscape will send goons around to my house.

LiteralDan said...

Middle Aged Woman: This is a family blog, so you can be sure I will never appear in public without my footnotes.

Brittany: Yeah I think I'm just the type, huh? Written right across my forehead.

Always Home and Uncool: Yes, yes The Squishy! Resistance is futile!

Goldfish: I have that effect on people. Sorry about that.

And once you're shooting Tabasco in their, why bother with the coffee? Just take it straight!

Kat: You may have shamed yourself, but at least let me have a crack at it-- no fair!

(And thanks to yourself)

Keely: Well, I think someone just volunteered for a bunch of tags! You hear that, everyone??

Pregnantly Plump said...

Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog. Now that I've read this very interesting "uninteresting" list, I feel like I know you very well!
Are all of your toe socks striped, or do you go for ones with polka dots as well?

Anonymous said...

It's funny I found out yesterday, you hate drinking coffee. Oh! who's a buzz kill? me.

your sister-in-law

Swirl Girl said...

Toe socks and squishy sponges?

THe meme calls for uninteresting things about yourself.

signed S.Freud

Leslie said...

A clever way to defeat the evil meme!

Andrea said...

Ugh! I hated those toe socks when I was younger! It felt creepy to have my toes spead apart like that. I guess I'm weird though.

You were at the Louvre!?! And you didn't stop by for a pepper coffee?? Shame on you~

CaraBee said...

By far, one of the best memes I've ever read. Well done!

Jenny Grace said...

Wet sponges ARE pretty disgusting.

Pam said...

smelly wet sponges are the worst!

steenky bee said...

Socks? In bed? Never. Also, I'm pretty sure I have a phobia of sponges, whatever that's called. If someone wanted to stop me dead in my tracks, all they have to do is throw sponges at me. Wait, I think that's actually happened before.

Michael from dadcation.com said...

uninteresting? hogwash! this is some fascinating shiznit.

Ringleader said...

Don't fight the webbing. Wet sponges, yes... fight those- but the webbing... THAT could come in handy!

Anonymous said...

dare ye mock the meme? funny take - thanks for making me laugh.

LiteralDan said...

Pregnantly Plump: Welcome! If I had some, I'd have all sorts, including a pair showing a mighty buck with ten antler points on the toes. I would quietly amuse myself and frighten anyone and everyone else I showed them too.

Mp!: Greetings again, madamoiselle! Coffee is growing on me, through great intermittent effort, though mostly in iced form (with ridiculous amounts of sugar). It's such an incredibly bitter drink that it boggles my mind how it became so popular, though. Tea has even more stimulants with a much less oppressive taste. Why have the British switched??

Swirl Girl: I tried, I tried! You can't squeeze blood from a stone! That's in the Bible. I think.

Laggin: I will give all the credit to Middle Aged Woman-- I'm not nearly that creative.

Andrea: I'd like to try them just once, but I think I'd agree-- too much fabric all shoved up between your toes. And those bastards were out when I got there! That's the problem with being a star-making trendsetter-- whatever I like becomes so much harder to find just minutes later, and I am forced to move on to something else, day after day.

CaraBee: Wow, high praise indeed-- thanks!

Miss Grace and ciara: I agree, actually, and it is incredibly persistent.

jenboglass: I'll have to remember to keep a stock of sponges strapped to my utility belt, in case of emergency.

muskrat: I always make my shiznit that way... does that make me a hero in some small way? I'm not sure.*

* It does.

Ringleader: Are you suggesting the webbing might help in my struggle against the sponges?

├╝berburber: Oh, I dare. And you're welcome.

Kori said...

The very thought of toe socks makes me gag-much as the mental image of a kid sucking on a mitten does. I say bring on the webbing. Then I could at least swim better,you know?

The Microblogologist said...

A footnote in a comment, sweet! Your footnote obsession is spreading by the way, soon all blogs will be full of them. Uh oh, I may have uncovered your evil plan to spread your influence over the entire blogosphere, I better go into hiding!

LiteralDan said...

Kori: Shall I take it you are not a foot person?

Be that as it may, your particular word choice now clearly identifies you as the source of the many "toe sucking" hits I will inevitably get from Google travelers in the coming months.

The Microblogologist: Out in plain sight is the safest place you can be-- I can't get you when everyone's watching. But I will get you.*

* Ohhh, I will get you.**

** That should be said with extremely theatrical menace.

Allison said...

Are you sure you don't add pepper to your coffee to pretend it is a bloody mary?

LiteralDan said...

It's funny how perfect that question is-- I don't particularly like pepper, coffee, or Bloody Marys.

Wow, I'm two for two on being the 25th comment today (see the next post). I'm only mildly embarrassed to admit how much this pleases me.

Mrs4444 said...

Loved this post! Now you must confess; are ANY of these true??

LiteralDan said...

Not a one, I'm afraid-- we each handed off our lists to the other and made them as ridiculous as possible. Check out my list for her if you haven't already.


Huzzah on toesocks! Toesocks are so much less restrictive than normal socks. They are foot gloves. Are you like me; gloves over mittens any day of the week?

Poor Mona.

LiteralDan said...

In reality, I've never worn toesocks, but I definitely vote gloves over mittens-- I need to be able to use my hands!

For really cold weather, the best choice is those mitten-gloves, where you can cover your gloved fingers with a mitten top.