17 June 2008

A conversation with D-: Stick a fork in me

In lieu of a post I was unable to finish today due to technical difficulties, here is another typical conversation with D-, my four-year-old son:

D-: I'm looking for my forklift... (tries to move my leg in the chair) ...I left it right here.

Me: There's no forklift under me, I promise you that. (This would be a jarring, depressing defensive statement to have to make if I were obese.)

D-: Well... where is it then??

Me: I have no idea, I haven't touched it.

D-: (turns head slightly to look at the couch) Oh, there it is!

Me: And how did it get there? It shouldn't be on the couch.

D-: I just put it there a minute ago.

Thus the futility to trying to apply reason to most of a child's actions, questions, and statements is reaffirmed.


Kori said...

Smiling again...and this is why I love this blog-so true, so real, and I am SO not alone. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Mine will forget where she set a toy 5 minutes prior (and ask me to do a full-scale house search) but can remember things we promised her, verbatim, for MONTHS. I'm probably not any different!

Anonymous said...

How dare you try to understand the reasoning of a child?! I gave up on that long ago and have since enjoyed a nice existence of pretending to be clueless.

TentCamper said...

When not in teaching or life lesson mode, I have become accostomed to repyin, "oh..ok...really?...Wow.

There is nothing more one can do

Kevin McKeever said...

Your kids and mine need to have a "find the object sitting in the middle of the room" contest sometime.

Laski said...

Quickly taking notes . . . "It is useless to apply reason . . . just go with it and smile." Got it.

Rikki said...

I think all four year olds have short term memory loss. I know mine does.

This blog is going to be great for D to read when he is older. Life chronicles on the web!

Mama Dawg said...

I love your conversations with your kids. They're too funny!

Unknown said...

Of course he just put it there a minute ago.

And, about the dildo? You're totally right. (I feel very strange about my first comment on your blog being about a dildo, but it is what it is.)

Anonymous said...

At least he can trust you not to have swiped it! Whenever my kids ask me where something is an d I say "I have no idea," they immediately go over and look it the garbage can...because 9 times out of 10, that's what "I have no idea" means.

LiteralDan said...

Kori: I love this blog because the frosting satisfies the kid in me! Actually, I love it because it saves me the trouble of keeping some kind of baby/kid journal, as well as a regular journal. Thus it's double the labor-saving device. Without people like you coming back to read it, I would talk myself out of getting around to doing it.

Plus, I've theoretically made almost $40 in 5 months! One day, when I accrue enough to get an actual check sent out, it may keep me in notebooks.

Andrea @ Sweet Life: I think we all have inconsistent memories in our own way, so I guess it's not fair to criticize. Still, part of the fun of being a parent is that you can set the rules and you don't have to be fair. So let's all criticize away!

MamaNeena: Whoever first said ignorance is bliss was an insightful genius. Everyone else who copied that person just has good taste.

TentCamper: Yeah, I hear you-- I'm doing it now, in fact. It's easy and rewarding!

Always Home and Uncool: My kids would totally win. Provided, of course, that the winner is the team who never, ever finds the objects.

Laski: To answer your next question, yes, this will be on the test.

Rikki: 4-year-olds? I don't think I ever grew up, then. What were we talking about, again?

I feel the same way-- see my first comment reply above, coincidentally.

Mama Dawg: Most of them are too inane or context-sensitive to make into posts, unfortunately, so you guys only get B-grade material, and only a fraction of that, at best.

my stream: This may be my new favorite comment of all time-- I award you high honors for not providing context to the otherwise-mysterious dildo reference. I cannot convey to you in print how much I enjoy humor like that.

For those scratching their heads, this was in response to my comment at this lady's blog, re: a dildo her husband saw laying in the street.

What makes it even better is that now I've had to add the word "dildo" to my Firefox dictionary, because I'll be damned if I'll have my browser implying I've spelled something wrong when I haven't, with its snobby little red underlining.

Christy: That's a fantastic idea-- I love it! We will definitely have to go there pretty soon, to up the ante on these hooligans.